I’m sure you’ve heard a lot of things about sex over the years how its mind-blowing, magical, romantic and the list goes on. But have you ever heard about the hazards of sex? Well, they exist. What are they, you ask? Let me share some with you:

Splinters- These are particularly dangerous when participating in outdoor recreations. Be careful, otherwise you will be bare-@ssed getting them taken out by your partner with some tweezers. True story.

Getting hit in the face- There will come a time in your sexual history where you are having sex and you accidently get hit in the face. Don’t take it personally it happens to everyone — unless it keeps on happening and then, you might have a problem.

Bruises- If you bruise easily, I recommend taking it easy. Bruises can appear out of nowhere sometimes. I’m like how did I get this? Where did this come from?  If this happens to you regularly I would recommend investing in long sleeve shirts, scarfs and concealer. Wearing pants and learning how to blend your make up are also pretty crucial.

Broken furniture- Things that my friends and I have broken during sex include: a chair, a bookcase and a bed. Sex isn’t for the meek, or for those without disposable furniture.

Sand- Imagine hooking up in the sand. The phrase sand gets everywhere gets a whole new meaning. My friend hooked up on a playground once and there was sand in her bed for weeks. Think twice about this one.

Some more serious, but not as fun ones include:

STDS- These kind of go without saying. Chlamydia and gonorrhea are not sexy. Use protection, ALWAYS.

Hurt Feelings- This hazard will never go away. You’ve heard the expression “sex changes everything.” Well 99% of the time it’s completely true. Remember two other wise pieces of advice: With great power, comes great responsibility and treat others how you want to be treated.  If you try to adhere to these principles, you are on the right track.

Photo found on http://fallingnbetween.tumblr.com/

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