Are you worried about upping your “number?”
Nov
8th
Have you been known to be environmentally friendly when it comes to guys? You recycle, reduce and reuse at all costs? Well little lady, you’re not alone. Many a women take part in this replay of former partners, all with one specific goal in mind: to not increase their number. Because let’s face it, even if we don’t dare share our number with anyone else, we feel better and less slutty knowing our number is maintained at a status quo, knowing that other men out there can’t rave that they’ve been with us. So we continue to hook up with guys that we’ve already been with, and even do so at all costs.
If you were to draw a ‘sex tree’ of the people you’ve hooked up with, do you notice patterns of going back to the same ‘certain someones’ when you end things with your current partner? Who makes constant cameos in your sex life?
An interesting thing happens when try to not up our number. We end up calling old players from our roster up to bat. And we’re certain these dudes will hit a grand slam, because they’ve played on our team before. They know what tricks and hits the coach likes and are able to perform accordingly (lucky us). That’s the other thing about reusing former partners; they know what we like and us to them. Performance is always at a peak, and there’s no room for strikeouts and foul plays, technically that is.
So, what do you do to keep your number at a stable point? Do you hook up with exes? And if so, and you argue each time you guys hook up, is it really worth not closing the door and moving on to fresh meat?
I recently read a College Crush article, where the writer shares her tales about hooking up with a former flame, despite their lack of chemistry. And I couldn’t even pass judgment because I’ve been there before too. We substitute comfort for chemistry. Here we have a guy who knows our body, who has been with us many a times before, so yeah it sucks because the feelings have died down. And yeah, it’s sorta kinda sexually melancholy because you used to have a banging time with the dude, and now it’s just going through the motions, but still, you’d rather be comfortable with a guy who you know and who knows you inside and out, then strip it off for a new dude. To perhaps not perform up to par. To be judged. To be talked about. Oh self-protection, gotta love it.
The other thing about comfort with a past person is that, even though there is a lack of chemistry, we call upon them not to necessarily get us off, but because of that comfort. So when we are feeling rejected by someone else, we can call upon a blast from the past, not because we necessarily want sex, because we want the emotional satisfaction that comes with having it. But that is an entirely different article.
Personally, I find peace with knowing that I’ve been with the same few people over the past four years. I’ve built and developed feelings with them, and feel grateful that they are who I choose to share myself with. There’s a bond we share knowing when things don’t work out with others, that they are just a phone call/late-night text away. But I can say that since I’m now in my twentysomethings, and I had my college years to experience.
The thing with our number is no one needs to know it but us. College is the perfect chance to experiment, to grow, and to learn all about your sexual prowess. If you are doing the same person with the same moves, over and over, ad nauseum then there is no room for growth. There is no way to find out what else is out there and what works for you. I say don’t limit yourself (or your number). Just be safe and know when it is time to move on. I mean, if a guy who may be into you knows your single, but have been hooking up with the same dude the past few years, he may decide to just not get involved.
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