By the time you’ve reached my age, and I hope you never do because it’s positively dreadful, you’ve experienced quite a few relationships. Not only your own, but those that you’ve observed around you as all your friends eventually find their missing puzzle piece and force you to buy a $300 lavender dress in order to celebrate that miraculous event.
As you go through all the ups and downs of twentysomething relationships, you eventually discover what exactly makes them work and what leads to DisasterTown. But as many of you might be thinking – not every relationship that ends is unsuccessful. Many times you are with a great person who just doesn’t fit well with you, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t grow and learn a lot because of it. So, I have several relationships in my past that I would consider successful, even though we didn’t end up with the picket fence.
1. It’s easy. Maybe not easy like Sunday morning, but still, easy. Are you guys too young for that musical reference? Anyway, it’s so easy that it seems like something must be wrong. This is probably the truest thing I’ve ever said, so listen up: you know when you’re in the wrong relationship if it’s difficult. Difficult to trust, to communicate, to get along. You shouldn’t be spending sleepless nights waiting for texts and countless hours fighting over pointless things. You shouldn’t have to ask him to be up front and respectful. It should just be that way. Because when two people really care about each other the last thing they want to do is play games or make things complicated.
2. It’s fun. If you’re not laughing a lot, it’s not working. Relationships are all about finding someone that you can do everyday things with and have fun doing them. Life is long, and it’s not easy. And if you guys can’t find the fun in situations then you’re doomed and that is a fact. Being together should be a relief. It should be something you look forward to. It should never feel heavy – “Oh what is she going to freak out about now?” or “What is he going to snap on me for today?”
3. It’s public. If you are in a relationship with someone, they shouldn’t be trying to hide it. Ever. This is a recipe for disaster and almost always means there is a sneaky reason. I don’t care what they tell you about being a private person or not wanting to offend their ex or whatever. If someone is happy and committed to you, there shouldn’t be any reason why they don’t want to bring you places, take pictures with you, introduce you to everyone and incorporate you into their life. If they aren’t willing to do this, then you best be a steppin’.
4. It’s comforting. Your significant other should be the one you run to when you’re feeling sad. Why? Because they know how to make you feel better. They should be the one you want to celebrate with. Why? Because they will be the one who is most happy for you. They should be your go-to person for everything. A successful relationship is built upon a solid friendship of communication and understanding. If you’re lacking this, then you don’t have much to fall back on.
And that’s the truth. Like it or like it.
photo credit: http://changethew0rld.tumblr.com/page/9