I’m about to rough things up in here, but it needs to happen.
I don’t know if you heard me the clearly the first time, but these are the most carefree years of your life. No career, no spouse, no kids and no mortgage. For goodness sakes, your student loans haven’t even started barking in your ear yet. You should be having a blast at all times.
I’m not saying that college dating is a bad idea. It’s a great idea. It’s a perfect time to explore and figure out what qualities you need in a significant other. In fact, many people meet their life partners during the college years. BUT….
There is a difference between having meaningful relationships and having any relationship. Particularly in college, I believe that we can become insecure about being “the single girl” among a sea of couples… and this can lead to a whole grab bag of problems.
How being a Date-Aholic can sabotage your dating life:
1. It leads to lower standards. The problem with being uncomfortable in your “single skin” is that it will most likely lead to you dating just anyone in order to fit in. I call this Loneliness Dating. Do you have ANY idea how many years I was the single girl?? Even into my late twenties. But guess what? All of my friends respected me because I never sold out. I knew what I wanted, and if I didn’t find it then I remained single. It is dangerous to fall into the trap of Loneliness Dating because sooner or later you start lowering your standards. You become so used to settling just to have someone around that you forget what you actually wanted in the first place. Or worse yet, he ends up really liking you and end up dragging on a relationship that isn’t going anywhere.
2. You miss out on a lot of opportunities. When you are constantly worried about showing up to a dance alone or paranoid about how everyone must think you’re a loser, you are wasting your college years! Not to mention that when you are spending all this time with random guys in order just to “have someone” – you are missing out on getting to know people you might actually like for the long term! Being single is awesome in college because you don’t have anyone to hold you back. You can do whatever you want, anytime you want. The possibilities of the connections that you could meet are endless – so why limit yourself to watching a movie on a Friday night with loser boy just so you can say, “I have a date.” Hmmm?
3. It sends the wrong message. When guys see you with a different boy every week, it will give the appearance that you are needy. Guys like a girl who can stand on her own two feet – alone! Being alone doesn’t mean that you aren’t worthy of having a boyfriend, it just means that you are picky! So stop thinking that you have a scarlet letter on your forehead because that is only the way you are perceiving yourself, not everyone else. If you haven’t read my post on Confidence, The Ultimate Boy Magnet – do so right now!