Too much information is the reminiscent of a stage five clinger – both having the same effects.
Too much information (a.k.a. TMI) is when you over share information about yourself with others. TMI is when you tell people anything that has the chance of making them uncomfortable and just basic information they don’t need to know.
There are certain things that should be avoided on a first date for the sheer fact alone that they make other people feel awkward. Nobody’s perfect, we all have our own issues and quirks, but when someone doesn’t know you well enough to really appreciate said quirks, you need to limit what you divulge.
Now I know some of my more skeptical readers are thinking “Well shouldn’t you always present yourself exactly how you are and if the guy isn’t into you then it’s not meant to be?” My answer: f*** no. The thing is ladies is that being meant to be isn’t based on the fact that you flossed your teeth in the cab ride to meet your date, nor does it mean he wants to hear about your cramps that have been sneaking up on you all day.
I was recently watching an episode of Millionaire Matchmaker, where a bronzed, twentysomething was picked by both Millionaires for their ten minute one-on-one date. Within these ten minutes she shared the fact that she had an eating disorder (when asked about food) and the fact that it started when her mom passed away. Now I’m not putting down these events that I’m sure drastically shaped her life, but TMI. That is not first date (or third date) material. Both guys ended up admitting that sharing these topics resulted in her demise and they both chose other women.
Let me blonde it down for you. Put yourself in the dude’s loafers and think, if I’m on a date with me, what would scare me away? Ask yourself the following:
Would what you want to share:
- scare you away? If so, keep quiet cutie. He doesn’t need to know about that hair tugging fight you had back in high school when a girl accidentally stepped on your Uggs.
- have you running to then share that information with your friends? You know those guys who tell you a cracked out story and you just know that this story will be one for the books? I’ve had my fair share of them, and my friends have gotten a kick out of these stories, but I don’t want to be the main character of one. If you think that it could be embarrassing, keep it to yourself. At this point all the guy owes you is showing up for the first date, the rest my friends, is up to you.
- make him not know how to respond? A silent nod and the look of empty/what-can-I-possibly-say-in-this-moment kind of eyes is not a reaction you want from the person sitting across from you. Because you know what happens? You then start to give it back. Welcome to a world of the slippery slope of awkwardness and I-won’t-be-seeing-this-one-again assuredness.
- make you uncomfortable and sympathetic? Have you ever hung out with someone because you felt bad for them? It’s not a good feeling and doesn’t put you or the other person in a better position. Let’s ease off on the sympathy. Wait until after the date and put on a Dave Matthews CD to sing along with if you want to feel those grey emotions, but the only track that should play on your initial dates are ones with catchy beats.
Women everywhere felt extreme embarrassment as we watched Wedding Crashers and saw Isla Fisher’s characters insanely clingy behavior. It was just too much, over-the-top and make the other characters (along with us viewers) cringe. Don’t be that girl. Keep it concise to keep it classy.
- Jenny Jen