Are you ready for a relationship (really)?

Today, I fell out of love. Or like. Or admiration. Whatever you’d like to call it. This one guy had fascinated me for months. He was just full of amazing qualities. He was kind, sweet, intelligent, quiet, and obviously cute. I just loved being around him, and every time he spoke to me it would light up a smile on my face.

After a series of awkward moments and failed flirtations, I realized that if he was interested in me, it wasn’t going to go anywhere anytime soon. And naturally, I responded to how hurt I was by this in the classiest way possible: I flirted and hooked up with other guys, went on dates, and decided to do a lot of ‘interesting’ things in the area of my relationship life, if you could call it that. I’ll admit I had fun most of the time, but I was also really pissed off about how things were turning out. I wasn’t getting the right guy, I had a bunch of guys I wasn’t interested in, and I certainly wasn’t getting the fairytale ended that I envisioned.

But sometimes, those things happen. And every now and then, all you want is a guy in your bed and casual fun. Other times, you might want to cut yourself off from everyone around you, and mope around for a bit. At that time, I thought that all I wanted at that time was to be in a relationship with that one specific guy, and my train of thought stopped there. In retrospect, I could’ve saved myself a lot of time and embarrassment if I thought about why I wanted to be in a relationship, and I (hopefully) wouldn’t have strung as many other guys along as well.

Truth be told, I wasn’t ready for a relationship. Not with the guys I dated/hooked up with, not with the guy I really cared about, and really not with anyone. This was primarily because of my own feelings, and the fact that I’m just not quite ready to commit to anyone at this point in my life. I wanted the fairytale lifestyle to make things easier, but after talking to my friends, I realized that I’ve spent so much energy focusing on adding new things to my life (a new minor, a new guy, a new job, etc.) that I lost sight of the things happening right now, and I stopped appreciating what I already had. Now I’m focusing on doing what I do best: trying (and failing) to be a good friend and student.

The moral of this story is: if you’re seeing your relationship life crash and burn, step back and look into why this is happening. Maybe you are 100% awesome and unfortunately just hanging out with the wrong kinds of guys, but there might also be other aspects of your life that you’ve ignored in your quest to be in a relationship. I have plenty of friends who are either afraid to be alone, can’t seem to stick with one person, or like myself, aren’t ready for commitment and they don’t realize it yet. Don’t rush into things, and don’t push yourself into something you’re not comfortable with. If there’s one aspect I would like to go back in change starting in my freshman year, it’s the fact that I constantly rushed into to relationships or hookups as a way to prove something either to others or myself. By the time you get out of college you’ll be in your early to mid twenties, and if you’re scared that you haven’t had the fulfilling relationship experience of your life, here’s a fun secret: dating gets more sophisticated and fun when you’re older. Also, a romantic encounter in a NY apartment beats one in a dorm 1,000 times over. Overall, the point is to have fun, and relax when it comes to the dating aspect of life. It certainly isn’t or shouldn’t be your biggest worry now, and I promise it won’t be later on.

So don’t rush into a relationship (http://thecollegecrush.com/how-to-not-rush-into-a-relationship/) and say bye-bye to the fairytale (http://thecollegecrush.com/give-up-the-fairy-tale/). Most importantly, be a little wild sometimes.

Image found on http://weheartit.com/entry/64429150

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About the Author,

Probably the biggest dating disaster since the invention of social interaction. I love college, and I love the fact that throughout those 4 years, a person can change dramatically, for better or worse. If nothing else, I hope that I can help others to navigate through the college world with as little drama as possible.