Are You Too Comfortable in Your Serious Relationship?

Today I was putting on my favorite sweatpants and it got me thinking about being comfortable. Not just in what you’re wearing, but in your relationship. There’s nothing better than being with someone who appreciates you for you. It’s nice to be able to dress down, lose the makeup, say what you’re really thinking, burp when you have to, all of that. No one can be cute all the time. But, on the other hand, there’s something to be said for not getting too comfortable in a long term relationship, even when your guy is wonderful and will love you no matter what your current state might be.

When you’re trying to get your crush to notice you, or when you’re single and going out to the bar on a Saturday night, how do you dress? Cute top, skinny jeans, heels, you’re put together. So when you do catch that great guy’s attention and get into a serious relationship, why do you suddenly get way too used to wearing sweatpants? No one is superwoman. It’s fine to be comfy when you’re just hanging out. But once a week (at least) you should declare a date night. Even if you don’t do anything fancy or expensive, put on a cute top, do your hair and makeup, and remind your guy that you want to impress him.

Getting too comfortable isn’t just a physical thing. It’s nice to dress up and get all dolled up (as my grandma would say) for your man. That’s definitely an important part of keeping the spark alive in a relationship. But you also shouldn’t get too comfortable emotionally. Of course you should be able to say what you think to your guy. He should know your hopes, fears, and general feelings on life. That’s not what I mean. I mean you shouldn’t take the stability of your great relationship for granted. Think back to the time when you and your guy were first becoming “a thing.” You weren’t sure you were going to see him that day, but you really hoped you would. You noticed how good he looked when he wore a particular sweater, and maybe when you had a few drinks you accidentally blurted it out. Now you’re way past the giggly, flirty “Does he like me?” phase and into the “love” phase, which is amazing. But it’s always nice to channel those fun, exciting first few months of a relationship.

Send your guy a cute text randomly. Tell him how hot he looks. Compliment some skill he has or something that you love that he does. When you’re in a group, talk about one of his accomplishments. He knows you love him, but remind him exactly why. Tell him when you’re proud of him. Be vocal about your feelings. It’s easy to get caught up in school, work, friends, life, and to just assume that since you’ve been together for so long he knows that you think he’s great. But even if he does, it’s always nice to remind him. Maybe he’ll take the hint and remind you a little more too. Who couldn’t use a good compliment every now and then, right?

What other tips do you have for keeping the spark alive in a long-term relationship? Tweet me @lifewithlauren or find me at Life with Lauren. 


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About the Author,

Proud Syracuse University alum. I work in radio by day, but at night I run my blog "Life with Lauren"( I'm also a freelance writer and contribute to other terrific blogs (such as the one you're reading right now). I've been dating a great guy for three years. Our relationship started right as I was leaving to study abroad in London for a semester, so I write a lot about long-distance relationships. Find me on Twitter: @lifewithlauren1. Thanks for reading!