College is an exciting time full of new experiences and random adventures. Some want to jump right in with reckless abandonment, and others are riding down this new path with their hands on the brakes just in case the training wheels give way. When I was in college, I wanted to believe I was the one diving in headfirst and ready to start the life I was dreaming about once I got free from high school. However, something in the back of my mind did not let me go in full throttle, especially with dating. I entered college with a high school sweetheart who I adored, but long distance and being young gave way to an on-again, off-again relationship, which ended, putting me on the college-dating scene. If I could go back or do it all over, I would tell myself these five things about dating, relationships, and love in college:
Image found on http://weheartit.com/entry/74100003
Right before my freshman year of college I picked who my roommate would be at one of our orientation weekends.
The summer before college I dreamed up what college life would be like. Naturally in my dreams my college roommate and I became instant life long best friends sharing everything in life until we were senile. That summer we emailed each other updating each other on what was going on with our summer, planning our dorm room colors, and talking like we were had been friends forever. However, when we moved in I realized she was a rule follower, and I was a rule bender. She was a morning person and I was the night owl that wasn’t awake before 9 a.m. She wanted to stay in the same social circle, and I really wanted my own set of friends.
Reality hit, and when you’re forced to spend a closet sized dorm room, tiny apartment, or living space with another person, even in the most ideal situation it can be quite the challenge at times.
To help you have a more positive than traumatizing experience, here are some tips to help you through the year. Hopefully you develop a great friendship that lasts past college.
Always try to model the roommate you wish to have. In the end you might end up with a best friend or you might part ways, but know that you were the best roommate you could be.
Photo found on http://weheartit.com/entry/69992265/search?page=15&query=friends
If you had told me the first 25 years of my life that I would actually find something to look forward to on Valentines Day, I would have rolled my eyes and labeled you crazy. It has nothing to do with being in a relationship or being single, I have never been the mushy gushy type.
My first serious boyfriend was in high school. I remember not knowing him well enough to know if we would exchange gifts, go to dinner, or ignore the day together. I had to do something, so a few days before Valentine’s Day I whipped up a batch of cookies, put them in a tin, and placed them on his car while he was at basketball practice. Attached was a note that said, “will you be my valentine?” Cheesy? Absolutely! A few years later he told me how much that meant to him, and I believe I probably rolled my eyes. I tried so hard to embrace that day but I just didn’t have it in me.
It wasn’t until about three years ago that I noticed as February approached I was checking my mail often. I wasn’t looking for anything from a boyfriend or a love interest, but I was hoping I’d get a card from my dad. I never really thought about it, but every once in awhile my dad would do a small gesture for Valentine’s Day like send a card, or find a box of chocolates that only has milk chocolate caramel’s in them (my favorite’s).
It turned out that I look forward to Valentine’s day afterall. This tiny gesture that took my dad maybe thirty seconds to do gave me a week worth of happiness.
In that moment, I decided that I was going to make the time around Valentine’s Day a time to give tiny unexpected tokens of love to different people I cared about.
Last year, I mailed funny Justin Bieber valentines, temporary tattoos included of course, to some of my closest friends. It surprised many of them, made them laugh, and they felt thought of. As each one of them received their card, I received funny and thoughtful thank you texts all week. I found myself excited to hear from them and was reminded of all the people who I love and love me back.
Valentine’s Day comes once a year whether we ignore it, embrace it, love it, hate it or are completely indifferent to it. Why not make it a day that we can celebrate the love that we do have in our life and showing them how much we love them back?
photo found on http://decorationforlife.com/50-gorgeous-and-romantic-valentines-day-decorating-ideas-2013/
When you look at someone you like or even love, it is so easy to see them for everything that they could be and not realize who or what they actually are right now.
This guy could be Brad Pitt, but in actuality he is more like Alf.
See the thing with potential is that we all have it. Yes, every one of us has some sort of potential to be or do just about anything. However, in order to reach our potential, it requires work.
Looking back on my last two love interests, I realized I was guilty of seeing two great guys for their potential and not for who they really are. Four years later, guy #1 is that guy who hasn’t even come close to his potential – he’s actually regressed. What I saw in him four years ago was the potential for a successful, stable, loving man who’d make a great life partner. I’ve seen him recently and let’s just say he’s nowhere close to who I imagined he would be.
Guy #2 is a guy who I was head over heels for years ago, and by years I mean a decade. He should have reached his potential by now. He seemed to have it all except the qualities of being a gentleman. See he had all the things guy #1 didn’t have, which made me think this could finally be it! However, even having the career, the stable life, the house, the looks, even the retirement plan, he didn’t have what it takes to be a man or rather my man.
That is the trap of seeing someone’s potential. The exception to the rule is that they change, the risk and the likelihood is they never will. This might be why some of us good girls are drawn to those bad boys, because of all their potential. But if they don’t realize their potential on their own, or put in some work on their own, no matter what we do or how hard we want it, they’re not going to get there.
I don’t doubt guy #1 and guy #2 will reach their potential and then some. Any girl who ends up with them will be lucky and I might have a tinge of jealousy. But for now I’m going to stop living and loving on potential and go for the real thing.
Have you ever dated on potential?
Photo found on http://rosaachiiclete.blogspot.com.br/2013/01/conselhos-de-amigas-ao-mesmo-tempo-que.html