Decoding Dating Titles

Dating used to be much more concise back in the day. Listen to stories from your parents about how they met, or furthermore from your grandparents, and it all just sounds so brilliantly easy. They would meet, hit it off, “go steady” and that was that. Sounds all well and good, but us 21st century college ladies do not have it as easy. With terms such as “dating”, “hooking up”, “seeing each other”, “kicking it casual”, “an item”, etc., it is no wonder we’re all roaming around uncertain of our ‘title’ with our current partner.

When we finally get up the nerve to ask our boy where we stand, to our surprise, he answers with a title. A title that we wish we had a dating dictionary for because we just have no idea what in the world this title means. Each term sounds just the same as the next and after countless hours whining and debating with our besties in regards to what the title provided to us means, we still have no clue.

Fret no more my curious cuties. I have composed the overly recited titles that we hear uttered from our partners’ mouths, and will give you a straight up definition.  Stop sweating and start realizing what he means when he tells you what you guys are.

Defining Dreaded Titles

Hooking up:

Sleeping with each other, fooling around, no strings attached. You and this kinky carnivore are just having your cake (and he is eating too). The hooker-uppers of the world want it when they want it and don not plan on bringing you as a date to anything special any time soon. No matter how many times you go down on this guy, rest assured, you won’t change his mind. Hate to break it to you sweet cheeks, but the guy who refers to your sac sessions as “hooking up” see’s no future.

Seeing Each Other:

A step up from hooking up, which usually involves some dates here and there too (progress). This guy is in a fairly casual relationship with you. To him it is nice and easy. He is as minimalistic as he can get away with. He is not being over the top, just does what he can to get by to ensure he can get in (so to say). Wink, wink.


You lucky little devil you. This guy is either testing out the waters to see if you are relationship material, or he is lonely and wants a pretty face (and perhaps a nice rack) to look at while out for dinner, at a bar or at other date-like venues. Either way, this guy and you go on set dates. He calls you regularly, you make a set plan and he wines you and dines you (or at least the college equivalent) as you chat the night away trying to get to know each other beneath the surface.

And yes, after the date you are allowed to go back to his place. But take it slow with the dater. This guy likes your company and is not going anywhere. Let things happen naturally with the dater and be open to the potential of a future. If you are looking for a relationship, dating is a good title to uphold.


If you and your man are official, he is telling everyone. No seriously honey, everyone. From his parents, friends, and work colleagues, to the gas station attendant who fills his car to his barber to, well, anyone who will listen. He wants to make it known that you are his other half and would scream it on top of the mountain if there was one close enough. Once you are official, you are at a point where you see a future together. You’re committed to each other sexually, and mentally as well. The official relationship status is also known as ‘going out’ and/or ‘boyfriend and girlfriend.’ But just because you two have now declared your infatuation with one another to the world, don’t drop the ball. Relationships take work, and you’re up to bat.


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About the Author,

Jen Kirsch spent three of her first four years in College in a relationship. In her fourth, she let go of the idea of monogamy and did some very valuable “research”. This research has allowed her to make a name for herself as the go-to relationship expert, columnist and blogger in Canada. Her quick wit and all too honest tone (and background in broadcast journalism) make Jenny Jen the perfect role model for us college kids who need some advice from a best friend when our best friend doesn’t have the guts to say what we really need to her. Her blog Blonde, Bronzed, Twentysomething has the answers (and anecdotes) to everything and anything on your mind. Can we say twentysomething Carrie Bradshaw, anyone?