Don’t Fear the Distance

Two and a half years ago, my boyfriend and I made the ever-so-logical decision to start dating just a few weeks before I went to London for a semester. Many people thought we were insane. And I can see why. I was about to go spend four months in a foreign country and I had just decided to jump into a brand-new relationship. What about the strain the long (LONG) distance would put on the new relationship? As it turns out, doing long distance actually made our relationship better. Yeah, it wasn’t all unicorns pooping out rainbows. There were days when I wished we were in the same city/country. But if I had the chance to do it over, I wouldn’t change anything. Which is why I’m telling you: don’t fear the distance. People look at doing long-distance like it’s the kiss of death. It’s not. For newer relationships it might even be like when a singer gets a shot of vitamins in her butt if she’s sick right before a show. Meaning that it immediately boosts health and strength.

1.) A little less action and a little more conversation. When you’re doing distance, you can’t just hook up all the time while you’re caught up in the glow of a new romance. You actually have to talk to this person, and connect with them on a deeper level. Hopefully you already did this before you became official, but this forces you to continue learning about each other. This is extremely important for new relationships, and is still important when it comes to maintaining long-term relationships.

2.) See ya later, trust issues. When you’re in a relationship with someone who lives in the same city, it can be easy to avoid any insecurities for several months (or even years) into the relationship. When you’re doing long-distance, you HAVE to trust the other person.  If you spend every night worrying about where he or she is, you will slowly go insane. Because of this, any and all worries must get taken care of right away. Again, hopefully you are the picture of sanity and don’t have any trust issues. But if you do, then this is a great way to face them head-on.

3.) No zombies allowed. Lastly, I’ve seen many normal people become love zombies when they get into a relationship. What I mean is that they start dating someone and forget about their friends, hobbies, family, etc. Even the most seemingly normal women can become love zombies. When you’re in a long-distance relationship it’s a lot harder to let this happen. Your boyfriend isn’t in the same city. You can’t spend every second of every day with him. This means you’re going to have to maintain a life as an independent entity. Also if you’re in a new city and want to explore, you aren’t going to want to sit at home and talk to a computer screen for hours on end. Essentially, you will both continue to do the things that you used to do before you fell in like/love.  This is healthy and how it should be. Snaps for you guys.


 

Photo credit:  http://iamjulialacerda.tumblr.com/page/3

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About the Author,

Proud Syracuse University alum. I work in radio by day, but at night I run my blog "Life with Lauren"( http://lifewithlauren.com/). I'm also a freelance writer and contribute to other terrific blogs (such as the one you're reading right now). I've been dating a great guy for three years. Our relationship started right as I was leaving to study abroad in London for a semester, so I write a lot about long-distance relationships. Find me on Twitter: @lifewithlauren1. Thanks for reading!