The idea of “happily ever after” surrounds us on a daily basis. We turn on the TV to see women fighting other women to “win” the man of their “dreams” after knowing him a whopping three months, turn on any country radio station and every man on there is pouring his heart out over a woman, and it’s on the cover of every tabloid magazine we see in line at the grocery store. Now, while we are sitting there crying over staged proposals (admit it you’ve teared up at least once while watching “The Bachelor”), most likely the guys in our lives are standing there staring at us, jaw agape, in absolute shock that we are falling for this. But men shouldn’t be let off the hook that easy, when they are by no means innocent. They may not fall for the “fairy tale” in the way women do, but do they have unrealistic expectations of women that they gathered from their favorite movies growing up — you better believe that they do!
Movies make us forget what it really means to be human and how that affects romance and while us ladies want to be swept off our feet, men fall for a different kind of fantasy. Growing up, guys learned from movies that women should be absent of any bodily imperfections, don’t use the restroom (ever!), always wake up with a fresh faced glow, and mostly are just around for the guy’s pleasure. Then they turned 16 and realized that this is not what life is like, that all girls in high school aren’t Phoebe Cates from “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” and most likely that pool scene fantasy is going to remain just that…a fantasy. The women in these movies that men drooled over had no story arcs or purpose other than to be an object to lust over and a trophy to the male character. Most likely if we, as women, were dropped into any of the movies that men love we would not be very happy. There are no grand romantic gestures, longing glances, or overwhelmingly romantic make-out sessions here, but I promise you that there will be violence, little conversation and lots of sex. I guarantee that no girl out there has ever said, “Man, I wish I was Adrian, I’d love to date Rocky!” Even though “Rocky” is a great movie, it’s not the fantasy we wish we could lead, it is all a little too shockingly real.
It’s no wonder women and men can, at times, have such difficulty navigating relationships when we are programmed from two very different schools of thought. Girls want Prince Charming and guys want the Trophy Wife, neither exist and therefore that is the reality we must face. So, what I offer you now is a fresh prospective on what guys fell for growing up and what women did not fall for, but should of given a second chance.
Why we didn’t fall for him:
- Although, a typical “bad boy” his particularly rough around the edges personality makes him unapproachable, not mysterious
- He’s not very educated
- He’s an underdog, past his prime, with the world stacked against him
A fairy tale character he is not, but maybe he deserves a second glance:
- He’s an underdog with the world stacked against him, yet he doesn’t give up on his dream, even after being told time and again that he’s worthless.
- He has real emotions and outbursts.
- In the end, when all is said and done, he lost the fight, but the only thing he cared about was finding Adrian, the only person who constantly stood by him.
Sloane Peterson (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off):
Why guys fell for her:
- Classic girl next door, she was sweet and unassuming
- She was spontaneous and fun
- She never questioned or argued with Ferris, she just was just happy to go along for the ride
Why she is too good to be true:
- In her last line, that’s basically a throw away line because Ferris doesn’t hear her say it, she says, “He’s gonna marry me. I know it.” Right there. Done. Over. Not what a high school boy is thinking or wants to hear.
- She’s just an accessory to Ferris, no real hopes or dreams of her own beyond being his girlfriend.
- She never questions or argues with Ferris about his crazy plans and just goes along with his every whim. That girl does definitely not exist.
After all this, I am never saying to give up on your “happily ever after”, I completely believe that they do exist, we just have to stop expecting it to look a certain way. That goes for men, too. We may not be the picture-perfect, girl next door who rips off our red bikini the moment we see you, but we are pretty awesome and sexy in our own way. So, put down that movie you were about to watch for the hundredth time just to see the scene where Ryan Gosling is shirtless and says he can do the lift from “Dirty Dancing” and spend time with a real guy, a great one!
Photo found on http://likeyou-bitch.tumblr.com/post/20568443429