How To: Be A Good BFF When You Have A BF

When I started college, my girlfriends and I used to get together every week to watch some doctor drama series that shall remain nameless. We sat around all night eating cookie dough until we barfed, talking about the boys we had crushes on but were too scared to say “hi” because what if he said “hi” back and we had to have a conversation?

Eventually, the crushes turned into boyfriends and watching doctor dramas and barfing up cookie dough turned into staying home and refreshing Facebook. Girl, don’t judge.

I’ve had a few friends in my history of friends who have ditched doctor drama night for their boyfriend, and one even ditched their friends altogether. True story.

Of course, her ditching us meant she earned the dishonorable title of “the girl who is too into her boyfriend to check up with her girl-friends.” Which was true and we were mad. Wouldn’t you be?

Who has been in my shoes? Say “I.” Who has had a friend go MIA after they started dating someone? Or who has had a friend bring their uninvited boyfriend to mani/pedi day? Rude, right? I know I’m not alone (don’t make me feel like I am) and this is why I had to write this.

I know how easy it is to get caught up in someone you’re dating, trust me. And as you get older and more serious with someone, it’s even harder to balance a job, a serious relationship, an obsession with Hoarders (no? Just me?), exercise, shower, and spend time with your best friend. But believe me, you don’t want to be “the girl who is too into her boy-friend to check up with her girl-friends” because that’s not her only name. Now you’re listening.

So here’s how to have a bff and a bf (it’s possible, I swear):

1. Make an effort: I don’t care if you’re buried deep in finals, work or life – if you have time to text naughty pics to your boyfriend, you have time to keep in touch with your bff (formerly known as your best friend forever).

2. Don’t invite your boyfriend: Even if you and your friends are in relationships and you do the whole “double date” thing, you need time with your friends occasionally and your friends need time with you too. You know, to tell you things they don’t want your boyfriend knowing.

3. Don’t disappear: One thing that really chaps my ass is when people go MIA (not answering texts, returning calls or responding to comments and/or tweets). It’s rude, so rude. Everyone knows you talk to your boyfriend all day, err’ day, duh, so be there for your friends, damn it!

4. Take interest: I know your love life is all butterflies and Care Bears right now, but what’s going on in the world besides that? Do you even know? I mean, you’re probably missing a baby shower somewhere that you were invited to on Facebook or your bff could be going through some insane quarter-life crisis where she’s about to get all Demi Moore in G.I. Jane with her hair.

Just remember: your friends are your friends because they love and care about you and enjoy your company and as Ya-Ya Sisterhood as I sound right now, don’t ditch your friend for a guy. Being a good friend will only make you a better girlfriend. Well, it might not, I’m not a doctor but it could help.

Photo found on http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=156698081128796&set=a.156690354462902.348