Hey Girl Who Gets Wasted And Proceeds To Drunk Text Anyone Who Will Give Them Attention

We all know you. Hell, we’ve all been you.

But it’s time to get a grip. No, incessantly drunk texting that guy while he’s at dinner with his mother who is visiting FROM SOUTH AMERICA (!!) is not a very good idea. (Nor were the 3 pitchers, 4 vodka clubs and whoknowshowmany rum and cokes during that afternoon of fun. Did I mention it was only 6pm? On a Sunday? Classy.)

There should be a mantra, support group, shit maybe even a breathalyzer required to send texts…something for F’s sake. But until then, tighten up those panties er, purses, ladies. Give your phone to your friend, drop it in the toilet, whatever you need to do…just cut it out. It’s really not productive. Plus, who really enjoys those cringe-worthy scrolls through the phone the next morning, anyway? Well, besides every single one of That Girl’s friends…but then again that’s a given.

- K