One of you lovely readers posed a question on Meagan’s last column, asking: “How can I find a guy who wants to go the (dare I say) old-fashioned route and date before the physical stuff?”
I’m here to give it to you straight: It’s not easy. College remains that quintessential time in a young man’s life when he is pretty much encouraged to hook up with any willing woman he can. Lucky for guys, there are many ladies who are quite willing to go all the way, or at least dole out a sampler of their stellar bedroom skills, as an attempt to convince these guys to want relationships. (This couldn’t be more counter-intuitive for these girls because if a dude just wants to hook-up, he just wants to hook-up, plain and simple. But I digress.)
Of course, not every guy comes to college looking to create a bed post ridden with notches. And for the ladies out there who are wanting to date, not get down and dirty, here are some signs that a guy is more into getting to know you than he is hoping to get your clothes off:
1. He asks you about yourself. This one might seem obvious, but one of the most overlooked signs of a guy who is just after some booty is one who keeps the “getting to know you” to a minimum. Make sure he can get past “What’s your major?” and “What dorm do you live in?”: A dude who is really interested in you will not simply interrogate you with generic questions, he’ll build off what you have to say and want to learn more about what makes you, you. (Give guys a chance on this one though— some of them really have a hard time talking to members of the opposite sex.)
2. He texts you within waking hours. Or, better yet, he calls. Ladies, trust me. I have been there. A guy who is actually interested in dating you will not contact you solely between the hours of 10 p.m. and 3 a.m. He will respect you enough, and want to impress you enough, to reach out at a time when you might be free to do something that doesn’t involve being in his bed.
3. His Facebook status updates revolve around something other than partying and drinking. Yes, beer and staying out all night drinking it, are novel concepts to the college boy who’s happily out of mom and dad’s line of sight, so it’s normal for a guy to want to share his cool new life with his social network. But you’re probably better suited for a lad who posts interesting articles or photos from his film project shoot than the guy who needs to update his status upon every beer pong hit…. especially if that’s his nightly M.O.
4. He makes dates with you. Notice that I didn’t say he takes you “out” on dates. Most college students have not the funds, nor the means (as in a car) to actually go on real dates, unless it’s to a romantic eatery such as the campus Del Taco. Don’t rule a guy out if he only asks you to be his study buddy or if you want to grab a coffee with him at the student center. (Honestly, just be glad he’s asking you out, sad as it might sound.) If you hit it off, he’ll likely take it to the next level with a “real” date.
5. He may be hard to find…. but he’ll be worth the wait. Speaking of library, the type of guy who is looking for someone to cuddle with, not canoodle with, won’t be found in the typical places most college kids tend to hang out: the frat party, the campus bar, the quad. The more involved you are in campus activities that you’re passionate about, the higher the chances are that you’ll find a guy who shares your interests. So, don’t shy away from the surfing club or Habitat for Humanity just because none of your friends are doing it. Branch out and you’ll meet not just a potential boyfriend, but new pals, too.
For more relationship and dating advice, pick up your copy of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags, available now wherever books are sold.
Photo found on http://loveliih.tumblr.com/post/7859806315