How To: Start Being Yourself (And Why Your Relationships Will Be So Much Better)

You know when you’re in college and you get a crush on someone who you think is all that and a bag of chips, you find out they’re into death metal through some internet stalking and then suddenly, you’re Googling death metal so you two have something “in common?”

So you end up all into death metal dating this person who’s all into death metal, but really, you’re not into death metal. And then one day, you realize you’ve been lying to yourself for some guy (or girl) who has no idea who you really are because you aren’t being yourself. Oh, and you hate death metal.

Do you know what I mean?

Sometimes we’re attracted to people who probably aren’t that right for us, or maybe they are, but sometimes still feel like we can’t be ourselves (for whatever reason – insecurities, fear of losing someone’s interest, etc.). I spent a good majority of my teen and college years making other guys’ interests my interests in hopes of sparking what Cosmogirl called chemistry, but it never worked out too well. I usually ended up without the guy and a new interest in Harry Potter – don’t judge me – or in a relationship with someone I thought I liked, but was really just attracted to. I’ve done it, you’ve done it, we’ve all done it, and in case you haven’t heard, being yourself is so in right now. No, really.

Here are five reasons to help you be yourself, no matter what:

1. Don’t hide your quirks: the right person won’t care that you wear plaid pants with a striped shirt or that you stop and dance to “Thriller” in a Rite Aid. Why? Because they like you for you and your quirky weirdness. Stop pretending you have no desire to drop it like it’s hot out of the blue.

2. Convincing yourself that you like something you don’t really like, like death metal, will only make you hate it more. Trust me! And then when things don’t work out with death metal guy, you’re going to be stuck with a closet full of weird band tee’s with skulls and stuff on them, and be rudely reminded of that person every time you hear death metal forcing you to say things like “I hate all the death metal in the whole entire world.” Then, when you’re done with your outburst, everyone will be looking at you like, “what’s this girls’ problem?”

3. Get rid of your insecurities: whatever it is you feel someone will judge you about, they won’t. Everyone has something they’re insecure about and no one is perfect, so if you’re trying to get rid of five pounds you’re ashamed of, get over yourself, stop being a hungry biotch, and eat some bread. That person is with you already and if five pounds (or whatever it is you’re insecure about) was a deal-breaker, they’d be gone already, and a jerk.

4. Speak your mind: not speaking up about your interests, beliefs and opinions aint no fun if the homies can’t get none, like the song, theoretically speaking. Everyone has an opinion – it makes life more interesting – if you’re not speaking your mind and going with the flow too much, see #2!

5. Stop being with people who don’t embrace you in all your glory; being with someone who lets you be you is the BEST feeling in the world. So don’t waste time not being you, even if you’re only not being you a little bit, that little bit is a lot of bit, make sense?

Now that I’m practicing being a grown up, I’ve realized it doesn’t matter what you wake up looking like or how many foreign films you’ve seen, if someone wants to be with you, it’s because baby, you got what they need. Pass it on!

Get in touch with me on Twitter @JessicaDruck or at Blog with Benefits where I talk about more stuff like this!

Photo found on facebook