How To: Not Rush into a Relationship

I’ve noticed about 95% of my friends recently announced a new relationship on Facebook. Normally something I wouldn’t notice because people always pair off around this time of the year. But just so happens I’ve been keeping track, and it seems like a week of successful dates now constitutes a relationship in my little network of Facebook friends.

What happened to taking time to date? Am I the only girl who still needs to be wooed? Yes I really did just say wooed.

I know we’ve touched upon dating a lot, and how it seems to be going out of style (the way I wish rompers would..). But I think it’s an important part to remember in the grand scheme of things. The whole point of dating is getting to know the other person, finding out if their needs match yours…if you are even compatible. It important to establish some kind of base line with the other person, if you are just after a label chances are you should not be jumping into anything.

I know plenty of people who rush into relationship after relationship, and yes sometimes it does work out and yes you will get to know the person. But why not take some time, put down your phone/iPad/laptop, and get to know the person over dinner.

The build up is what makes it special. When you finally agree to take that next step into relationshiphood, remember the wait makes it better, that way you know how significant that person is in your life.

Step 1: Talk about it- if you are ready and want to be in a relationship then put it out there. There is no sense in dating someone who is not looking for the same thing you are. As a serial dater I know this, you don’t want to waste someone’s time or have your time wasted. So let your thoughts be known!

Step 2: Get to know them- how would you expect to be in a relationship with someone you don’t know? And before you can even throw it at me, I realize being in a relationship you can still get to know the person…but shouldn’t there be a time period when you get to know the basics. Hmmmm, maybe they could call it dating?

Step 3: Don’t compare- If you compare your dating life to anyone elses I can guarantee you will only find disappointment. Every situation is different, every person is different…go at your own speed and don’t worry about what anyone else is doing.

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About the Author,

Over the past four years I've been collecting a few million how not to date stories, mostly from the hundreds of blind first dates I've gone on. My friends have even dubbed me the MVP of dating, and after you strike out as many times as I have you learn a thing or two (i.e. Never get extra onions on your burger during a first date if you want a romantic kiss.)