When I ask a question, I like to get answers right away – one of the many reasons I’m not cut out to be a teacher. So you can imagine my frustration when life doesn’t work itself out within seconds.
So I took this topic to the people who know me best: my friends. And after a long evening of greasy food, cupcakes and blueberry beer, I admitted defeat. I told them that I wanted out of this single dating scene because I was tired of playing games. They mocked this idea, because as we all know, I’m afraid to leave my stoop and actually jump into any real relationship.
But honestly, if I could I would just skip past the whole “courtship” period and go straight to a couple of weeks in, where there isn’t any of this playing-hard-to-get-ish, I’d be all for that. As long as it was promised that my heart would not get broken and he would never leave me alone in a dark alley. I only ask for the small things people.
I’ve put in quite a few years as a single girl, hoping one day my Mr. Big would come along and sweep me off my feet. Unfortunately life is not one long episode of Sex and the City, and not everyone gets a Mr. Big (although, for the record, I would also settle for Steve). I’m beginning to understand that life isn’t exactly like the movies or a country love song for that matter.
Relationships don’t just happen and you can’t fast forward a few weeks. You need to play the games, answer the flirty texts and get to know each others’ quirks (or at least the beginning of them). It’s part of the whole process.
If you’re like me and you despise this period – here are some steps to help you through:
Step 1: Hang out with your friends. Just try not to talk about boy issues during this period (it will only make it worse). Get out of the house, and get busy. The more things you are doing the less time you have to be waiting.
Step 2: If he’s not calling you – call him. As we’ve learned, I tend to be the go getter. So if you aren’t getting the responses you want to then find out why. Maybe he doesn’t know how to break it off, or you’re his back burner choice (which if that is that case get rid of him and find someone who chooses you as their first choice). Whatever it is, there is no point in waiting around for a call that may never happen so take it into your own hands.
Step 3: Make your own rules. I hate playing hard to get, probably because I hate it. I don’t want to play games, if I like you then I’m going to tell you I like you. Pick and choose the dating “rules” that apply to you. Just because it works for that one person who knew your friend’s cousin, doesn’t mean you need to make it work for you. Get creative and figure out what you’re comfortable with.
Photo found on http://www.flickr.com/photos/websterk3/4593014969/sizes/m/in/photostream/