How To: Untie The Tricky Knots

A wise person once said that for every little knot you untie, a bigger one is formed.

Well, right now my life hit the mother of all knots. I thought I had everything under control and all my knotted messes were figured out. Apparently that isn’t the case.

We get to a place where everything seems to fit perfectly, but you only need one wrong-sized piece to send you crumbling. And that is just what happened.

Okay, so I’m bad at dealing with things – the absolute worst in fact, I tuck them away in a nice little box marked “Do Not Open or Death!”  Without going into details, it was opened (on accident) and I freaked out and completely shut down. (For the record this is a metaphorical box.) I was on a date with a guy I have been seeing, and basically I was done after that. It wasn’t his fault – just bad timing.

Every event in our lives affects us, regardless of whether we want it to or not. If you think about a piece of string as your life, each time there is a horrible event a knot is formed. Now, sometimes you’re able to untie all the knots with no problem. But most of the time, you can only get to the surface knots, making everything else appear as if it’s fine. Well since I only worked on the surface knots, when the biggest snarly knot was being picked at, I fell apart.

And it’s okay to put a hold on untangling the bad stuff. But if you don’t deal with it then sooner or later it will rear it’s ugly little head. Please promise me crushes, you will start to work through your knots.

Step 1: Recognize it happened. When bad things happen, it’s easier to just pretend like they didn’t. “It was all in my imagination,” you say, “never happened.” Except it did happen, it’s real, and it will always be with you. You need to admit that or else no one will be able to help you.

Step 2: Get help. I, for one, am not a fan of professional help but you also have friends, significant others, parents and cousins. Ask for their help or maybe just their ears. Talking it out to someone you trust can be just as helpful as a stranger.

Step 3: Accept that it happened. You can’t change what happened, as much as you would like to…you just can’t. Until we figure out a way to time travel you are stuck with it. But you can make sure it doesn’t change you. Just because someone hurt you, or something tragic occurred, doesn’t mean you need to change your happy self. Don’t let anyone get the best of you! You need to show them that no matter what happens you are strong and they will never win.


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About the Author,

Over the past four years I've been collecting a few million how not to date stories, mostly from the hundreds of blind first dates I've gone on. My friends have even dubbed me the MVP of dating, and after you strike out as many times as I have you learn a thing or two (i.e. Never get extra onions on your burger during a first date if you want a romantic kiss.)