I never understood why you would set someone you love free until about four years ago when I had to endure the pain of doing so. Before that, I believed that when you loved someone, you were supposed to hold onto them tightly and for as long as possible.
Growing up, my parents were extremely protective of me; they never wanted me to do anything remotely adventurous and when I asked them why, they would tell me it is because they loved me and wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to me. I accepted their answer like a dutiful daughter, but felt stifled, like a caged bird that would never know what it felt like to spread its wing and fly.
Slowly, but surely, as I grew older, they began to let go as I became more assertive about what would make me happy.
Many years ago, I had to find the courage to do the same thing my parents did – let go of someone I loved. I wanted to hold onto him, or at least the “him” I fell in love with, for as long as I could, but with every breath of my holding onto him it just drew him that much further away from his recovery. He explained to me that I could not help him in his recovery process because it was his job and he did not want to see me broken into pieces about it. It took a whole year and a lot of emotional stress for me to see it, but once I realized it, I knew I had to let him go.
I cried for days but in the end I was glad that he was on his way to do what he needed to do to become a better and healthier person. I understand why we would want to keep those we love in our lives for as long as possible, but if they are not happy to be there in any way, shape, or form, what right do we have to “keep them?” If we truly loved someone, wouldn’t we want the best for someone, even at the expense of our shattered hearts? After all, isn’t “love is not self-seeking” a part of the infamous reading of 1 Corinthians 13:4?
So, if you love someone, set them free…
Surfer, singer, and songwriter Nina Joyeux’s first post for our blog! bit.ly/t8h2te
Photo found on http://vi.sualize.us/view/22952715259344c245c5a6e3679ac104/