Is It Time to Up Your Sex Drive?

Feel like you’re never in the mood for sex? You’re too tired or too on edge to hit the sheets? You’re not alone: low libido is the number one sexual complaint amongst women.

When men get sexually excited, their penis takes over and their brain shuts off. For us, it’s a little more complex. Anger, anxiety, stress, boredom, low self esteem and unrealistic bedroom expectations can derail our desire to do the dippity. And if we’re on birth control, which is known to reduce testosterone levels, we’re even less likely to crave some sexual healing. Without a Viagra equivalent, we’re left frustrated and feeling like we’ll never have hot, passionate, orgasm-inducing sex again.

Don’t take a vow of celibacy just yet–there are a number of trial and error solutions that may help bring your sexy back:

  • Exercise Before Sex–Working out increases blood flow, endorphins and energy, all of which are catalysts for a session in the sack. Since most gals can’t fall asleep right after exercise, use that time to bone before bed.
  • Do Yoga–In addition to increasing your strength and flexibility, yoga teaches you how to relax your mind. The breathing techniques used during class work just as well in the bedroom. Plus, you’ll eventually gain a better mind-body connection, which will allow you to focus more on what you’re feeling and less on what you’re thinking.
  • Get it Off Your Chest–If you can pinpoint what’s bothering you, talk it out with a friend, boyfriend or therapist. Even if you don’t solve the problem at hand, just telling someone will help you to stop obsessing.
  • Try Something New–Spark sexual desire by planning to try a new position or location. Daydreaming about the risque things you’re going to try will get you revved for the actual performance.
  • Use Lube–It’s hard to enjoy sex when it hurts. And if it hurts, you’re less likely to want to do it again, decreasing your overall libido. Sexual lubricate will allow you to actually enjoy sex, which in turn will make you want to have it more.
  • Switch Your Birth Control Pill–While nearly all pills affect libido in some way, do a little pill shopping and see if you can find one that minimizes this side effect. Your gynecologist probably has suggestions, so be sure to ask for his or her opinion.  Not all birth control is created equally, the side effects of yaz (which contains two types of hormones) are different than others.   Sites like this also have articles you can read discussing these differences.
  • Go Off the Pill–Ditch your birth control for three to six months and see if your libido bounces back. If it does, consider staying off the pill and using a different form of contraception.
  • Have a cocktail–A drink can help you to relax and lower any insecurities or inhibitions. Just don’t get wasted or you’ll be more likely to pass out than put out.

A gal’s libido is bound to have ups and downs. If you feel like you’re stuck in a major down, don’t hesitate to make some lifestyle changes or contact a specialist. You’re definitely not alone on the issue so there’s no shame in seeking help. The benefits–that hot, passionate, orgasm-inducing sex again I mentioned earlier–certainly outweighs any associated awkwardness.

Photo found on

No related content found.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

About the Author,

For more advice from Natasha, Meagan and Julie check out their dating guide, The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted ... But Chose to Ignore, which they developed from their dating and relationships blog