When I think back to my dating experiences during my first few years in college, I’m reminded of that movie/book He’s Just Not That Into You. Despite my efforts and hopes, there were times when it just wasn’t happening yet I just wasn’t seeing it. I would try to excuse sketchy behavior, rude behavior, or just plan strange behavior with my own logic. But the other day I read a quote from Maya Angelou that goes a little something like this, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
Life would have been so much easier had I kept this quote in the back of my mind during my freshman and sophomore years. It’s so easy to talk yourself into anything when you’re dealing with relationships or wannabe relationships. He didn’t call? He’s just busy. He only wants to see you out a bar? He’s just nervous around you. I could literally rationalize any and every situation, even when it was so painfully obvious that my chosen love interest was not an ideal candidate for my affections.
Rationalizing poor behavior is sometimes less painful than admitting that said person is either a.) a sketch case b.) not interested or c.) seeing someone else. But in the long run it’s better for your heart and self-esteem to just move on, even if it means being completely and totally single for a while.
If your current dating situation has you feeling like you’re running into a wall over and over, try to take a step back and look at what’s really going on. Despite his great sense of humor, David Beckham-esque abs and other appealing qualities, what is this person really showing you? Is he reliable? Putting in the same effort you are? Giving you what you deserve? It’s something to think about.
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