Sometimes it’s hard just trying to meet people — let alone getting to the level where you’ve bypassed the “hey this person is kind of cool” stage to reach the point where you’re seeing each other on a regular basis. When you add moving and relocation to the mix, it becomes even more of a challenge.
Whether you’re a transplant at a new college, a new town, or a new city, or are simply trying to make a fresh start, we’ve all been that person who doesn’t know anyone (yet). Lately, I’ve been feeling like the ringleader of that club. I’ve just moved from a big city to a new state for a job and there have been days where I feel like I’ve hit the restart button without meaning to. Sure, I left the city for good reasons — this new job is one I desperately wanted and love — but I’m not going to lie either; it’s always hard starting fresh in a place you don’t know anyone off the bat.
The solitude can creep up on you, but it isn’t always a bad thing. The introspective moments found by sitting alone in a coffee shop or exploring the local sights give you a new appreciation for your own company. You learn things about yourself you wouldn’t otherwise (yes, you ARE awesome). Even if you aren’t starting out somewhere new, I still think it’s important to have these moments. How else are you going to discover that your inner voice makes for a great stand-in therapist? My point exactly.
Sooner or later, though, that solitude can create a black hole of loneliness that you’ll be clamoring to get out of. Surely, there have to be people out there who share your Jane Austen-fueled tea fanaticism. Right? Right?? Okay, so maybe that last part is just me. But still, there are others out there worth getting to know and who will share similar interests. It may take awhile to find them or it may happen quite quickly. Usually it’s when you least expect it. And who knows, maybe one of those connections will be with someone that becomes more than just a friend. A little optimism never hurts.
I don’t know about you, ladies, but I am SO over letting the loneliness creep up on me. Nothing is ever achieved without taking a risk, which is why we have to put ourselves out there more often. Easier said than done, right? Yeah, I know, but let me put it this way: Would you rather be sitting in your apartment or dorm thinking of ways to meet people or actually out there bumping into them left and right? Okay, so maybe don’t literally bump into everybody; that’s just weird and may freak people out. My point is, you’ll never get anywhere just thinking about doing something. Trust me, as a self-proclaimed over-thinker I’ve tried this…. and it doesn’t work.
Reach deep down to that inner therapist and you’ll hear a voice telling you to take a chance. I finally started listening to mine and before I knew it, I’d stumbled across a Jane Austen movie lovers club in my new town. Was it fate? Maybe. But I wouldn’t be getting to know these new friends and fellow Jane Austen addicts if I’d stayed within my comfort zone. All of you are capable of the same thing—even if the thought of a Jane Austen club repels you. So put on your big girl shoes, open your heart and kick loneliness to the curb. It’s about time, wouldn’t you say?
Photo found on http://weheartit.com/entry/12686318