Ladies, Please Stop Asking Pointless Questions

Dating is for getting to know each other.

And that is your lesson for today. Didn’t that just turn your world upside down?

Okay, listen. Dating requires that you ask a lot of questions. It’s a time for sitting on the hood of a car (preferably one of yours) at midnight in an obscure parking lot, eating take-out and talking about your dreams. And then getting a flashlight shined in your eyes and being questioned by a cop wondering why you’re parked in an obscure parking lot ’cause he’s all out of criminals to chase after. Right? But dating does NOT consist of continually barraging your significant other with meaningless questions that have no beneficial answer and will inevitably lead to a fight. I will now dissect some of the most common pointless girl questions and explain why you need to stop asking them right now!

1. Does this look bad on me? Do I look fat in this?

First of all, what do you EXPECT him to say? The only possible answer here is “No.” Do you really think he’s going to tell you that you’re a fatty and need to lose a few? Of course not. So what is the point of this question? Seriously? Have you ever asked yourself that? Because aside from giving the impression that you are super insecure, there is no point in bringing this up.

TIP: A guy will give you a compliment if he wants to. Fishing it out of him only makes it meaningless.

2. Do you think she’s pretty? Are there any pretty girls at your work?

Sigh. I have had SO many guys complain about their girlfriends asking such ridiculous questions. This is a trick question. If he tells you the truth and says, “Yea, there are a few” — which I guarantee you there ARE — then you will be upset. And if he lies and says there aren’t any, you won’t believe him. The fact of the matter is there are pretty people EVERYWHERE. We will always find others attractive, there is no way around it. You must come to the point where you are secure in yourself and your relationship enough not to be threatened by it.

3. What are you thinking? Why are you quiet? Is something wrong?

AHHHHH! Is nothing sacred? Why does he have to tell you what he’s THINKING?! I promise you that you don’t want to know the real answer to this because it most likely has something to do with sports, food or how much he doesn’t want to have this conversation right now. I don’t think I’ve ever told someone the truth when they’ve asked me what I was thinking because let’s face it, most thoughts are just random. They don’t make sense. Just because someone is quiet or having a thought doesn’t mean something is wrong! If you keep asking him these types of questions there WILL be something wrong very quickly.

Make me proud,

Blunt

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About the Author, Blunt Delivery

Currently, I am a stay at home, non-showered writer, editor and photographer. I’m also a restless, commitment-phobic nomad who has spent the majority of my twenties in a perpetual state of confusion. But hey, I give solid advice.

Brandon

If girls can’t ask these questions, I’m fairly certain they’ll quickly run out of things to ask and complain about.

I’ve given honest answers to all of the above. None of them worked out well. (My answer to #3 one time was “I can’t see you anymore.” She cried, but it was hard to feel bad because she brought it upon herself.)

These questions can also be known as “red flags.”
http://bluntdelivery.com Blunt Delivery

hahah! This is very true. As always, you have the female gender all figured out. Yea, i figure if i can just keep girls from asking these types of questions that would be all i’d ever hope to accomplish. it makes a huge difference!
http://www.blondebronzedtwentysomething.com Jenny Jen

The final Q reminds me of a Russell Peter’s skit where he talks about a girl he once dated and how she asked him what he was thinking. At the time he wasn’t thinking of anything and she wasn’t ok with that answer. So she questioned and prodded until finally he had to make up something just to please her wondrous mind. The fact is, if we are comfortable with ourselves, we don’t ‘need’ reassurance from our boyfriends. We have the knowingness that we either do or don’t look fat, that he probably does think SHE is pretty (which is A OK because we think other he’s are smoking hot) and that he may have his own thoughts exclusive of us, as do we him. These questions to me are shovels to a ditch we could easily avoid giving.

Having said that, great reminders.

http://bluntdelivery.com Blunt Delivery

Agreed Jen!!! It is OK for people to find others attractive. I mean, COME ON.

http://www.winkd.me Wink’d

“Are there any other pretty girls at work?” …oh, insecurities! Don’t we all have them.

So what about first date drinks? We just blogged about that, and it really is quite interesting. What do you at College Crush think?

Good post.

;D
http://bluntdelivery.com Blunt Delivery

First date drinks… hmmm. well, i think that can go both ways. But generally, I try not to let my guard down too much, or reveal too much on the first date… sometimes drinking can interfere with that! Keep it to a one drink maximum i say!
Pingback: The College Crush: When Hook Ups Go Bad : College Cures
http://talknerdy2me.org Leah

I am so guilty of this! I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half and I still do this. Just last night the poor guy was trying to go to sleep, he was exhausted, and I kept talking to him about our plans for the weekend. Because of his (what seemed like) lack of interest in the conversation I started in with the… “Don’t you want to spend time with me? What’s wrong? Why don’t you ever want to spend time with me?” After I asked all of these questions and he said “REALLY?!” I realized what I was doing, apologized and let him go to sleep. Why do I do this? I know he loves me and wants to be with me. He proves it to me all the time!… he just drove 3 hours out of his way to pick me up from the airport even when I had a ride just because he wanted to see me, we are moving in together in a couple of months, we are planning our future together… umm, hello, he loves me! Yet I still hit him with those questions every once in awhile and I just don’t know where they come from. Luckily I realize pretty quickly I’m doing it and apologize. How do I just stop doing it altogether?

http://bluntdelivery.com Blunt Delivery

Leah, unfortunately I have seen alot of girls learn this lesson the hard way. It gets to the point where the guy is so sick of it/overwhelmed that he just gives up and thinks that he can’t ever prove himself enough. Also, guys just decompress differently than girls. After a long day they just want to play video games, or watch tv or do something that doesn’t require talking. Talking isn’t usually a de-stresser for girls. And guys don’t feel the need to know every detail about everything like women do. So, just remember they are wired differently… doesn’t mean they don’t care.

It sounds like this guy really is into you, so it boils down to your insecurities. You need to remember that if he doesn’t want to spend time with you, he certainly won’t. You also need to remember that there’s nothing guys hate more than someone nagging them. Maybe he’s just the kind of guy who doesn’t like to be asked a lot of questions and doesn’t like to constantly give a play by play. So, if that’s the case then you need to figure out if that’s going to work for you? Are you able to live like that if he doesn’t communicate enough to make you secure?

These are things you need to consider. And you also need to remember that you are worthy of a great guy and there are a million out there if this doesn’t work. That is the cold hard truth. So, if signs do start to show that he isn’t into you then no worries cus there is someone out there who will be.

http://generation-yrants.info Justice Wordlaw IV

I really hate when they do the asking questions game when your out on dates. It feels like being interrogated or something. I like the general date of just having a good time and just observing and having a great time.

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yes Justice! I think these kind of questions usually just come out in serious relationships, when they are more comfortable. Are you finding that girls ask you things like this when you’re just getting to know each other?

Kyra

See I never ask the first two, because I know they’re traps. I do tend to ask #3 though. Mostly because if I can’t think of a conversation topic I’m curious to know if he’s thinking anything interesting. But I never push if he says nothing, well… okay, I tend to say “Really? Huh.” And then he’ll either explain or say “Yeah.” And then I shrug and go quiet.