From the blind date who referred to herself in third person as “princess” to the woman who made her guy keep a lock of her hair in his wallet, some of the scariest stories on our blog, BigRedFlags.com, have been submitted by men about the fairer sex.
While we may not be as crazy and irrational as some guys seem to believe, we’re willing to admit that we gals are capable of committing some pretty unbelievable red flags. We can be demanding, unreasonable, manipulative, delusional…. and, sometimes, we know it.
So, with this is in mind, here are five red flags that many women — including us! — often commit while dating, as well as a little advice if you find yourself to be a repeat offender.
Trying to be someone you’re not. We totally did this in our younger days. Some of us — believing we know what men want —tend to put on a facade and play a role in an effort to attract dudes. This is silly because, in reality, what quality men look for is confidence. Pretending to be cool with just having sex, seeing other people or being ditched for his buddies when those things actually bother you, sets your relationship up for failure from the get go. Grown women know who they are, what they want and aren’t afraid to speak up.
Becoming a “tease” to get attention. Sure, men enjoy being toyed with a bit and often don’t mind the thrill of the chase. But beware that too many games will leave a man spent. He’ll soon tire of your teasing and find someone who is real. Women who play with men’s emotions usually do so more for the sense of control than because they’re actually into them. And, come on, once you’ve won a guy’s attention, which is all you wanted anyway, the game is usually over.
Comparing your relationship to other people’s relationships. When your BFF and her boyfriend plan a romantic getaway to Hawaii, or your little sister is planning her wedding six months after meeting “the one,” and your boyfriend of a year hasn’t even mentioned anything about your future together, you may start to question his love for you. That said, brashly acting on these emotions is not recommended. Sitting your guy down and saying, “So-and-so does X, why aren’t we?” won’t do anything other than irritate him.
Planning your wedding a little too soon. It’s one thing for a woman to fantasize about her wedding day, but it’s a whole other level of crazy to actually start planning it, especially if the guy hasn’t even thought about proposing. Arranging the event before you’ve really had a discussion about it with your man (or even before long-term feelings have even developed) indicates to him that you care more about a ring and a dress than you do about him maybe being your husband. While we always hear that it’s the “bride’s day,” a wedding should encompass your relationship, not just you. Plus, part of the fun in planning a wedding is getting to do it with the man you love.
For more relationship and dating advice, pick up your copy of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags, available now wherever books are sold.
Photo found on http://www.flinkepiker.org/