There are books out there advising women that in order to get a man, we should “play hard to get.” I am not quite certain all women are getting the right track when these authors tell them to “play hard to get.”

Friends of mine would tell me that if a guy calls to ask them out on a date for the same day, they simply would reply they couldn’t because they already have plans, even if all they have planned for the night is a date with their TV and couch. When I ask them why, they say it is because they don’t want to seem so available and that it served him right to ask them out on the day of. My response to them: “I understand that it sucks they are asking you out on short notice, but some guys just don’t plan, and if you really like him, why not just go out and see how it goes? How do you expect for a guy to fall for you if you never spend any time with him?”

I am not trying to make excuses for men because of course I also would like some advance notice, but I understand that men don’t function like women. They tend to be one track minded, while us women are rulers at multi-tasking. Why else do you think a majority of households are still dominated by matriarch reign? My mom worked, cooked, cleaned, and made sure we were properly cared for, while my dad relied on my mom for such matters.

My point is: don’t play games. If you don’t have plans and you want to see him, then see him. I think the point these authors are trying to make is that we should not revolve our lives around a man who comes into it. Too many times I have witnessed my friends (and I am guilty of having done the same) rearrange their schedule and lives to be more accommodating to his. Keep your dinner dates with your girlfriends, have drinks with your colleagues after work, get to know new people, and have your own life. If you do that, you are naturally “playing hard to get,” and if the guy you like wants you in it, he will compromise and make you a priority.

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