Significant Others, Holiday Presents, and The Dangers of Being Subtle

Thanksgiving is officially over and that means Mariah Carey singing “All I Want For Christmas Is You”, red Starbucks cups, and general cheer are in full effect. It also means that high expectations are here again. When can you expect your significant other to pick up on your second-too-long glance in the store window at that gorgeous necklace? When can you truly allow yourself to believe that if you spend enough time thinking about a romantic evening ice skating and seeing The Nutcracker then he’ll just make it happen and buy some tickets? Why only during the holiday season, of course. Well, ladies, Santa Lauren is here with a few friendly pointers. If you really mean it when you say, “any gift he picks will be great” then go ahead and keep trying to communicate mentally. Keep hoping he’ll pick up on eye twitches and subtle head nods. But if you have something in mind, something that you’ve been dreaming about, don’t wait for him to figure out what you want. You don’t need to say, “Buy me this.”  It can be more subtle. But you can’t just hope he just figures it out and then think about how unromantic he is when he gets you something practical yet very unsexy instead.

Through my own trial and error I’ve learned the following: our significant others love us. They want to do the right thing. They want to make us happy. But sometimes they just have no idea what we’re hinting at.  That’s why you have to skip the subtlety and the hoping and just make it happen. Don’t be a diva, don’t be demanding, just make it easy. If you see something online, send him a link with a cute message. If you see something in the mall say, “I love the way this looks,” or “I would love something like this.” No need to be like, “Buy me this NOW” as you turn into the Incredible Hulk. You’re just offering suggestions. He will probably appreciate the help and will be glad to spend his money on something you’ll love and use.

When it comes to holiday dates, don’t force him to do all the heavy lifting. It’s definitely romantic when your guy picks you up to take you to a surprise location. But if you have an activitiy you really want to do, why not switch things up a little bit and surprise him? It’ll show that you’re putting energy and effort into the relationship. There’s no rule that says your guy always has to be the one planning all outings. But if you really want him to handle the planning, you can guide him in the right direction so you can do your fun winter activity and still be a little surprised.

How do you feel about subtlety and the holiday season? Is the feeling of surprise worth it or is it better to go after what you want? Tweet me @lifewithlauren1 and find me at Life with Lauren.  


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About the Author,

Proud Syracuse University alum. I work in radio by day, but at night I run my blog "Life with Lauren"( I'm also a freelance writer and contribute to other terrific blogs (such as the one you're reading right now). I've been dating a great guy for three years. Our relationship started right as I was leaving to study abroad in London for a semester, so I write a lot about long-distance relationships. Find me on Twitter: @lifewithlauren1. Thanks for reading!