We’ve all heard it before. Communication is the key to a strong, healthy relationship. I always knew that, but what I didn’t know was that being upset and using personal insults didn’t count as good communication. I mean, I was talking to the other person, right? I didn’t know any better, and when you start doing one thing, it’s hard to change your ways. Well recently, I met a guy that completely changed the way I thought about communicating in a relationship. I’m here to tell you guys everything that I’ve been doing wrong in the past four years of dating. That’s right. That’s how much I love you guys.
My Gigantic Communication Mistake #1: Answering a Question with a Question.
You know what it sounds like. “Who is that girl?” “Why, do you know her?” Or “What’s up?” “Nothing, why?”. It’s never a good idea to answer a question with a question, no matter how tough, rude, or out-of-the-blue the question is. It can only make you sound suspicious, and it reminds me of those cop movies where answering a question with a question means that you have something to hide (and they’re usually the guilty one…). I’m sure it’s not quite so dramatic, but my point is, answer the damn question when you’re asked. It’s better that you’re upfront and honest than to seem vague and shady.
My Gigantic Communication Mistake #2: Abusing the phrase “okay” and “sure”.
Everybody knows that saying “okay” or “sure” is female dictionary code for “I don’t like that, but whatever, go ahead because I don’t feel like talking about it anymore”. There comes a point where using anything too many times becomes ineffective, and I did just that. Eventually, they stop listening to your explanation-less responses and go ahead and do whatever they want to anyway. And that, my friend, is how to destroy communication between two people.
My Gigantic Communication Mistake #3: Talking too much.
I know it sounds stupid – if I talk a lot, I might as well talk a lot because that’s just how I am. But sometimes I talk so much that it sounds like I’m not even listening to what my guy is saying. And really, guys want to be heard as much as girls do, so shutting up and listening is really important to do sometimes.
My Gigantic Communication Mistake #4: Attempting to decode somebody that I don’t know well enough.
And it takes a lot to know somebody well enough to decode what they’re saying. I’ve known some people for like seven years and I still have no idea what they’re trying to convey under the words that they actually say. I’m not over-analyzing, I swear! Sometimes, it is what it is, and they really do just mean what they say. Don’t look for subtext all the time because you probably won’t find it, and that will only frustrate you further. But sometimes, there’s some serious decoding to do, which you shouldn’t attempt unless you know them incredibly well.
Now that I have thoroughly embarrassed myself, I think it’s time that you list some other communication mistakes for me. What are you going to do to stop them?
Photo found on http://pinterest.com/pin/84935142942209800/