You all know what I mean. You’re dating this awesome person – they remember your birthday, bring you appropriate gifts, text you back, listen attentively, and know things about you that you’ve only brought up once. They even get along with your friends. Basically, you’re dating the perfect person – until things start to go sour. Maybe you’re like me and you embrace denial until anything decisive and final happens. You know, like a break up. And then suddenly, you were dating the biggest [insert any and all rude adjectives here] in the world, according to all of your friends. What the heck is that?!
I never listened to my friends when they ripped on my ex. I can usually think pretty clearly during and after a break up, so my response is, “wait, but five minutes ago you thought that he was great”. Now after being on the other end of it – quietly coaching my friend out of a messy break up – I think I finally get it. Here’s why your friends would contradict themselves.
1. Your friends are always on your side.
The situation rarely matters. Either they give you the harsh truth, or they sympathize with you. That is, after a break up, your friends will either say “you messed up” or “it’s okay, there are plenty more fish in the sea” or “he didn’t deserve you”. There isn’t much else. They’ve got your back, and that’s what good friends do.
2. Your ex probably wasn’t perfect.
For obvious reasons – they’re human. Often, we choose to overlook the bad in favor of the good because we’re just nice people. We want to see others in a positive light. Then after you break up, your friends focus on the bad to make you feel better. What ninjas. Whatbrilliant ninjas.
3. They never really liked your ex anyway.
This ties in with my first item. Your friends might not have liked your ex to begin with – and they may or may not have chosen to express this to you. Regardless, having your ex break up with you only serves to confirm what your friends thought to begin with, and since you’re now broken up, they have free reign to express how they really feel.
Your friends aren’t liars, nor do they hate you. Don’t get mad at them – they love you!
Photo found on http://0bambi0.tumblr.com/post/27621134057