Surviving…the Ex Who Texts
Breaking up sucks. What else is new? It’s always hard to get over a break up and it can get really rough at times, but sometimes you can be friends again after a while. Some can even be friends right after the break up, which often happens if it was mutual. But sometimes, you break up and stop talking entirely, trying to get them out of your life all together. It might be okay for a while, but then they start to text you again. Awkward.
The way I see it, there are only three things you can do in this situation.
Choice 1: Respond.
Pro: You have the potential to bring another friendship into your life. Really, these are great friendships because you know so much about each other already, and you’re comfortable with each other. Alternatively, you both might end up wanting to get back together.
Con: You might end up wanting to get back together, but they won’t. Or vice versa. You could also find that neither of you like each other anymore at all. More awkward.
Choice 2: Ignore them at first, then respond when you’re ready.
Pro: You’ll be armed with the knowledge of what you really want out of your ex. A friendship? A date? You’ll know exactly what you’re going for, and you won’t “fall into” anything by accident. You’ll also be less emotionally driven and more logical after waiting a couple of days, weeks, or months.
Con: You might lose them in the time that you ignore them.
Choice 3: Don’t respond.
Pro: You really get them out of your life.
Con: It means that you still care about them. That is, their actions still affect you in some way, be it positive or negative. This means that if they double text you, you’ll probably cave. And this isn’t some Choice 2 response. That is, you probably won’t be cool about it. Maybe you’ll be like me and send them something really rude like, “What do you want?” Maybe you’ll do the opposite and be overly nice and say something like, “Heyyyy! What’s up?! How are you?! =D” In my experience, neither of these lead to great conversations.
What you choose to do is really up to you. However, if you’re going to reply, don’t try to get anything out of them. There could be a lot of unfinished business, and you might feel like they owe you an apology, an explanation, or some other kind of closure. Speaking from experience, you’re probably not going to get it. The only apology you might get is “I’m sorry that I hurt you”. If you’re anything like me, that’s the last apology that you want to hear.
So pause for a moment before you respond to that text or throw your phone back into your pocket. What do you really want? Which is your choice?
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