Surviving…Your Dating Pattern

So when I was thinking about this week’s post, I wondered – what have I experienced often that I can pass on to others? Well it’s pretty obvious to anybody who knows me. I have an incredibly destructive dating pattern, and it’s all because I just want to be nice. That, coupled with a few misunderstandings. So this is my take on how to survive your own dating cycle.

Stop. Being. Nice.

Uh, last time I checked, the relationship consisted of two people. That means that you’re, you know, one of them, which makes you pretty damn important. Don’t put your life aside for somebody else, and don’t do anything that you don’t want to do “because they want me to do it”. Terrible excuse. You need to be in the relationship for yourself. It sounds cliche, but you have to want your partner to be happy, which makes you happy. You need to feel loved, confident, and cared about. Sounds harsh, but it’s true: if you feel anything otherwise, run.

Be blatant and clear.

I’m not one to sugarcoat. Seriously, I don’t have the patience for that. I’d rather be straight up and clear than beat around the bush and have my partner become confused and thinking that I’m being evasive.  Examples include my habit of messaging somebody asking, literally, “so do you like me or not?” or “are you actually my boyfriend or are you just dating around for now?”. Seems scary to a lot of people, I know, but it’s efficient. I have a no-nonsense attitude toward this because I hate to be left hanging. Once, before I spoke so bluntly, I ended up being somebody’s girlfriend for two weeks and I didn’t even know. This is why I demand clarity. Hey, it works.

“If a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a shit, he genuinely doesn’t give a shit.”

One of my favorite movies of all time – He’s Just Not That Into You. I love it because it’s blatant (like me) and true when you think about it. If a person makes you feel bad about yourself, if you don’t think that they really care, they probably don’t. Avoid waiting around for that call. Run. Just run.

Relationships are supposed to make you happy. Does yours?

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About the Author,

College is a struggle. You know it, and so do we. That’s where Surviving College comes in. It’s a blog about all things college – academics, jobs, friends, you name it, we’ve written about it. Roommate troubles? Got a low mark on your last exam? Trying to land that summer internship? We’ve got you covered. The Surviving… series is written by Pamela Nguyen, the Managing Editor, and Vanessa Lam, the Editor, at SurvivingCollege.com