Sure, group text messages can be efficient to make plans and send out funny pictures of yourself drunk eating pizza on the way home from the bar, but the growing trend of using group text messaging in the dating process is giving the function a bad wrap, and rightly so.
Here’s what happens: Said single sends vague text to multiple people they are dating. Examples include: “what are you up to?” “plans later?” or “meet up tonight?” How do I know about this? Because I have been on the unknowing receiving end and responded with a reasonable answer to their begging question and then wound up never hearing back from them that evening. They must have been drinking and just forgot to text me back, right? Wrong. I was kind of stood up.
During Friday night drinks, I saw how this haphazard text-style can really yield results. My friend pulled out her phone, “let’s see what the Scotts are doing.”
“Are those your family friends in town?” I asked.
“No,” she laughed. “‘Study abroad Scott’ and ‘Gym Scott.’”
By the time we got our check, she had locations for both including cross streets (without using Foursquare). She responded back to both of them “Gr8 will prob see u later,” even though I knew she wouldn’t. Her rationale: one was across town and the other responded back so quickly she thought he sounded desperate.
When it comes to group texts, the receiving (or not receiving) end can certainly be frustrating but there is no way to avoid it.
You can however diagnose if you are getting one, and that is half the battle! Here are signs that you are likely a victim:
1. The text comes in during the trolling hour, after 1:00 am.
2. The text is generic in nature with know clear directive or plan. If the person really wanted to see you they might tell you where they are and invite you to join them. If they are texting multiple people this would be a disaster .
3. You message back and don’t get a response for more than 20-30 minutes. This means they are texting with someone else. In which case you need to read the following post.