Much like the DaVinci code (’00s references everyone!!) college comes with its own hidden meanings that you have to find and unlock in order to carry on an exciting, adventurous life…. or something like that. Call them college clichés, but if you’re new on campus it might help you out to read between the lines. (Weird Tom Hanks DaVinci code hair is totally not necessary.)
1. “Let’s hang out and watch a movie” means “Let’s make out in my dorm.” We all know this one.
2. Professors who hear that there was a “family emergency” likely realize that you were actually just hungover.
3. The perfect token of affection is a mix CD (a step above a mix playlist and a step below a real mix tape; if someone makes you an actual mix tape, they love you.) There’s something so quintessentially college about the gift of a mix CD. It’s free, it’s creative, it’s the perfect way to say you’re a music snob without actually having to say, “I am a music snob.” Instead you say, “This is me! This is who I am!” Making and giving a mix to that special someone is a total newbie thing to do but that doesn’t mean it isn’t awesome. Let’s be real, by selecting songs we love that smoothly transition from one to the other, we feel like we’ve accomplished something.
4. “There’s gonna be this cool party at Darryl’s place” means “I LIKE YOU PLEASE COME.”
Now of course these codes extend beyond college, and maybe one day while working your job at Crate & Barrel, you’ll find yourself telling your boss that you have a family emergency one Monday morning. But college is the place where they are born and roam free. So have fun and make those elitist CD mixes, and don’t lose count of how many times you’ve said your grandma died.
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