The best weekend in college is slowly creepin’ up on us like The Sitch at Karma. No, I am not talking about the first week in spring when all of the ripped track boys start running in slow motion in the quad. I am talking about Halloween weekend, people! The three day extravaganza of fish net tights, whistles, boys with fake utters/abs, and an all out crazy fest. I will not tell you what I’m going to be this year (that’s always a surprise), but I will tell you, my first Halloween in college I discovered I that first impressions are totally key in dating. And I am not talking about settling with the black fake eyelashes instead of the two toned purple ones…
In the beginning of my freshman year, I was bored with my dating life, and we were getting ungodly close to Valentines Day. But since I was not destined to have anyone for Valentines Day in college, I should have known I would eventually dump him for something better (like my Twitter handle).
I met (I will call him White Shoes, for reasons you will understand later) him in one of those situations where you really have no other choice. I knew I didn’t like White Shoes right away, because I did not write about him in my diary. I am kind of like Taylor Swift in that sense. I needed to feel it. I also believed the lack of “teardrops on my guitar” were because White Shoes was about as exciting as a L.L. Bean pop up ad. But I also knew I needed to stop being so shallow and accept people for who they were, beyond their white tennis shoes.
However, you should not trust six types of people in the world:
1. Girls who claim they cannot be friends with other girls.
2. People who don’t trust any other than themselves.
3. People who are always trying to make a deal.
4. Persons who go out with a married man or woman.
5. The straight man who does not have any guy friends.
6. The genius who wears tennis shoes, white enough to permanently brand my contacts into my own eyes.
White Shoes’s tennis shoes made him look like a Sketcher’s spokesperson, and it was not a good thing. They reminded me of driving with my iPhone in my passengers seat mid-July. The glare nearly blinded me and put me in the ditch. Every time I saw WhiteShoes, I wanted to rip his off and run them over with my Ford until they looked like he found them hanging on a phone line in the projects.
I dated him for a while. And come Halloween night (the third night of the 3-day saga) I dressed as a water-girl (New England football Jersey, short shorts). I was really trying hard to not be shallow about our relationship. I wanted to make it work because I knew he really liked me. White Shoes would scuff his Sketchers so hard against the wood floor, he would create little black streaks! It was so cute!
Then, Valentines Day finally rolled around and I took him to my dad’s restaurant. He was so nervous, he did not eat a thing until the ice cream, and mowed it down before I had a chance to blink twice while looking at it. I’m a total daddy’s girl, and my dad is the classiest, sweetest man you will ever meet. I was excited for White Shoes to meet him, since I knew his reaction to my dad’s confident stature would prove if I could keep dating him.
My Dad came to our table and thrust his hand towards White Shoes to shake it. I do not know if the glare was too bright on his kicks, but White Shoes balked like he had just been iced. He shook my Dad’s hand limply and croaked,“Hello.”
That was the last time I talked to White Shoes. I had given him a try, and he didn’t fit.
I learned something from this. Your first intuitions about a man should not be ignored. They are important. I realize I may have been a little judgmental looking at White Shoes and only seeing white shoes, but in the grand scheme of things, someone’s shoes say a lot about a person.
White Shoe’s message was, “I am too scared to get them a little dirty.”
And I couldn’t date someone like that.