My particular thoughts for this morning were surrounded upon a recent relationship I thought I once had.  The reason why I am saying I thought it was a relationship is because it was not a relationship. But during the time, I thought it was. Now, hear me out, because I am making it sound like I created my own imaginary boyfriend and fluffed his imaginary pillow up for him every night before I went to sleep. Well, it wasn’t anything like that. He was a real person and we dated for a short time period. While I thought we were sparking up a nice little relationship, I look back now and realize if anything it was a relationsh*t and he didn’t even include the word “relation” in our ship. He thought “friend” was more fitting.  Let’s look back.

I knew he really liked me. We flirted and he pitched hanging out with me on a regular basis.  He texted me all the time. He complimented me. He shared everything with me.  He finally tried to kiss me after a Valentines Day spent at the bar with me, sipping Long Islands and pointing and laughing at a group of men at the bar wearing old Christmas sweaters. We held hands on the way home in the taxi. We went to a movie with my best friend and her boyfriend after he pitched we do that instead of go on our buddies party bus. As far as I was concerned we were on the fast train to relationship-ville, because I really liked him. We talked every day and who does not like people they want to kiss anyway!?!

Wel, lots of people, sweet cheeks.

I realized the signs of his “liking me” may have allotted to his personality. Which means, he treated me the way he did only because of who he is as a person? I like to think so under this case. This boy was obnoxious, loud, outgoing and a little insecure – the perfect recipe for relationsh*t material.  He is a huge communicator, never shy and extremely extroverted.  The reason I say this is because his personality actually lead me to thinking I liked him, but he treated everybody like me. It took me a month outside of the love bubble I thought we had created to really see this.

The kissing? May have been my encouragement and he went with it, now that I look back.  The constant texting?  He constantly texts everybody – it is in his personality to be in strong touch with everyone in his phone book.  He was extra flirty with me because he was extra flirty with everyone else too.  He even told me about a girl he was seeing and how annoying she was – and I failed to notice the red flags to this action because I thought he liked me better anyway (he was the one texting me every night right?) Wrong.  He never called. He never said he liked me. He never asked me out to dinner. We always went out to bars together, where other people were.

What does it take for a girl to realize these signs? Why do we have to experience these things to really learn the truth about the worse relationship we thought we never had? Regardless, this previous relationship I barely had really threw me a loop for many reasons, because I kept second doubting myself. I didn’t know what happened.

To make things a little easier next time, I came up with three solid reasons you know when a guy likes you – regardless of their personality:

1. He will ask you questions.
2. He will call you.
3. He will ask you out.

Now, they seem so simple. But that’s because they are.  Dudes are simple. If he likes you he wants to know more about you, he wants to genuinely talk to you and he wants to spend time with you. If it took a relationsh*t for me to figure that out, fine. At least I learned something along the way.

-Guest blogger Brittany Chaffee

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