I remember the first time I woke up in a stranger’s bed. The first thing I thought was “Where the hell am I?!”
A lot of sex columns give you advice about how to have the best sex possible. I think people of our generation have more than enough resources at their disposable to “attempt” to have the best (and safest) sex possible. As a result, we know what to do to make sure to have a fun time…but what about that awkward moment when you wake up the next morning? What in the WORLD are you supposed to do then? This is the kind of stuff they don’t talk about in those glossy magazines…no fear ladies, I will!
So obviously every scenario is different, but the best thing to do is to stay calm. Just breathe. I’m not going to lie, it’s going to probably be an awkward situation, whether you know the person or not. So here it goes:
If you go to their house: If at all possible, I recommend planning ahead to make this as painless as you can and to avoid the not-so-fun walk of shame. If possible, for many reasons, let a friend know you are going to go home with someone. That is also a good time to secure a ride home for the morning.
Setting an alarm for the next morning is helpful too. It gives you a good excuse to leave, plus it wakes your partner up. Wait! Why is waking your partner up a good thing? Well, if they are awake, it gives you an opportunity to let them know you are leaving (and offer that ride if you still need it.) Not gonna lie, that can be uncomfortable, but it’s for the best. Put yourself in their shoes, what if you hook up with someone, they sleep in your bed, and then you wake up in the morning and they are gone? Even for guys, it might make them feel a little self-conscious, I know I would…
If they spend the night at your house: it is incredibly important to make them feel as comfortable as possible, because let’s face it, they probably feel a lot more awkward than you do. Offer them something to eat/drink, and to give them a ride home. It’s the nice thing to do!
If you had a good time, let them know! If you want their number, ask for it! (Special bonus tip) If you don’t know their name and you want their number…ask for them to save their number on your phone.
So I have learned that the best thing to do to avoid acting awkward is to tell yourself nothing happened. No you did NOT see this person’s genitalia, no you did NOT kiss them, no they did NOT see you naked. This is called having selective amnesia. Don’t think about that stuff while you are interacting with them, act like you would be if you both had never hooked up.
Lastly, you should do is to be discreet—and this is coming from someone who can’t keep a secret about herself. My life is an open book (as evidenced by this column). I have hooked up with guys with whom I have A LOT of mutual friends, but I make sure it doesn’t get out. This is really important. You’re in college, kissing and telling is tacky.
But the most important advice I have is to have fun and be safe!