None of us are strangers to first dates. But I’ve recently learned there’s a HUGE difference between a first date and a first date as an adult. It isn’t, hey come over and hang out and an excuse for a makeout session. It isn’t hey meet me and my friends at this bar where we will all get hammered and then make out. It’s an actual proper first date. There is dinner, and of course drinks, but more importantly conversation. Here are the things that I learned on my recent Adult First Date.
1. Getting To Know You
Sometimes dating feels like you’re an ancient cave man. You attractive, me like. While physical attraction is of course a huge part of dating it’s not everything. Some of you may not believe me, but people can actually become more attractive as you get to know them and their personality quirks. You can’t force attraction, but you can be open to dating someone that doesn’t look like Chris Pine. And someone trying to get to know you feels nice too. Try it. Give someone at least three dates to scratch the surface of their personality before you say sayonara.
2. Call Me Maybe?
Adults don’t text or use Facebook to procure or follow up on dates. They CALL. I know this is weird since most of us only pick up a phone to call 911 if an intruder is breaking in, but it makes all the difference. Lets be honest, it takes like two minutes longer to call someone than it does to engage in a text conversation and that small amount of effort adds up to huge dating points. It’s polite and it shows that you actually care enough to pick up the phone. So if you want to impress a girl, call her! Leave the poking and direct messages for your friends.
This sounds silly. It seems like common sense. But if we’re all honest with ourselves, we have definitely hung out with people of the opposite sex that don’t respect us. Sure, they find us attractive and want to know what we look like naked, but they don’t actually respect us for who we are. If they’re hot, sometimes we look past it. But it’s beyond important. And once you’ve dated someone that respects you it’s impossible to go back. Having someone respect you builds another layer into the attraction, not to mention what it does for your own self-worth. Find a partner that respects you and it makes it much easier for the rest of the foundation of your relationship to fall into place.
What have YOU learned from your more mature first dates?
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