Things I Learned From Being Screwed Over

Sometimes it’s inevitable. Even when we think we only have good karma coming our way, it can happen. Pretty much anyone can screw you over; your friends, a lover; a family member, a corporation. While it’s annoying and we have to stop ourselves from screaming “why me” a la Nancy Kerrigan, sometimes it takes being screwed over to remember things about ourselves and life. While usually I prefer a cocktail and dinner before getting screwed over I would like to pass on what I recently learned when I got screwed over.

1. Sometimes Life Just Isn’t Fair
The fact that I’m not dating Chris Pine is clearly proof enough for me that life isn’t always fair. But aside from that unfortunate oversight on Mr. Pine’s part, sometimes the rest of life follows suit and we just get screwed over. First off, it happens to EVERYONE at some point. Literally…everyone. So don’t worry, at some point your arch nemesis will get their comeuppance too, even if you think that someone with hair that good will never have a bad day in their life. We can’t control our lives. But we can control how we react to things that happen in our lives. The quicker we accept that fact the quicker we will be able to move on and in some cases, gasp, forgive when someone or something screws us over. Life may not be fair, but it is beautiful if you don’t fixate on the bad and let it ruin your future.

2. It Feels Good To Stand Up For Yourself
Even when we are 100% right sometimes the odds aren’t always in our favor. We can’t catch a break all of the time even when we deserve it. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t fight for yourself. Whatever the situation, no matter what your odds are, there’s nothing that builds self-esteem like standing up for what you believe to be right. Whether you have to give someone a piece of your mind or take some sort of legal action, it’s important to know that YOU ARE WORTH IT. And no matter what wool someone is trying to pull over your eyes, you won’t stand for it. Of course there are limits, so use your judgement and remember that being malicious and vengeful isn’t the same thing as standing up for yourself. But no matter what the situation, you don’t have to be a victim.

3. You’re Smarter Than You Think
It’s easy to get down on ourselves. We are always comparing and contrasting ourselves to people we know and worse, people we don’t. We’re always counting check marks next to our name and seeing how they stack up against other people and we even envy people who have things that we don’t want, just because it seems like they have everything. I could tell you to stop, but you won’t. I’ve tried and I can’t. It’s human nature. Most of the criteria we use to evaluate ourselves are external or material objects. Someday our looks will fade, we can lose all of our money in the stock market, but the one thing that you will have whether you gain or lose five lbs is our intelligence. The brain isn’t featured in US Weekly so sometimes we forget how important it is to keep it sharp and sexy. But lets be honest, if you’re reading this you probably have a certain degree of education and street smarts. Unfortunately, most people do not. We take it for granted. But when you have to interact with people that haven’t had the opportunity to have the level of education you have or people that are just plain stupid (there I said it!), you remember how lucky you are to have your wits about you. A dumb girl can seduce your boyfriend, but in ten years she won’t be a CEO. Take comfort in the fact that you have something that can never be taken away.

Aside from these lessons, it’s also good to remember to always look for the silver lining in all situations. How will we relish the good times if we don’t recognize when sometimes things suck. What do you guys do when you get screwed over? What have you learned from your less than stellar experiences in life? What people have screwed you over most?
XO,
Wannabe

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