Admit it. We’ve all done the Bridget Jones fast forward through love. We meet a guy, go on a few dates, think he’s great, maybe even the one and we visualize going to the farmer’s market with him Sunday mornings and picking out bridesmaid’s dresses for our weddings. While it’s admirable that we are open to the possibility of finding our happily ever after, after we have all endured our share of heartbreak, jumping from zero to sixty is no better. We move too fast and make the classic “girl” mistakes and are left in the same place we were before we met the guy. Here are the things that I’ve learned from falling too hard too fast.
1) We Fall For The Idea Of The Person Instead Of The Actual Person
Or we fall for the idea of what our lives would be like with the person. We tend to overlook certain red flags or behaviors that we would normally be cautious of. We’ve all put up with certain things in the past that we swear we will never accept again. But when we are too consumed in the end result sometimes we don’t even notice that the same behaviors are happening right under our noses. We aren’t paying attention. There’s they saying that when a person shows you who they are, listen to them. Or pay attention. Or something. You get the point. Falling too hard too fast blinds us to the actual person and we end up in the same situation that we were in once before and end up unhappy again.
2) We Aren’t Present
When you are so focused on the future you aren’t present and noticing what is going on in the actual moment. We overanalyze every hug, every text message, and every interaction. We sometimes even think that the relationship we have with the person is actually different because we are paying attention to the one that exists in our head instead of the one that exists in reality.
3) Thinking Ahead Can Ruin The Future
If we are always looking ahead to the future we can actually change it- and not in a good way. It seems like you can progress the status of your relationship by thinking ahead but you end up jeopardizing what you have now because you are on another wavelength than your partner.
It’s easier said than done, especially when you feel like you’ve found your next boyfriend, but falling too hard too fast isn’t good for you or any potential relationship. The answer? Slow down. Relax. Whatever will be will be and if you stay present and pay attention to what’s going on you will never feel blindsided by any direction or course your relationships take. What have YOU learned by falling too hard too fast?
Photo found on http://dmetree.tumblr.com/