Things I Learned From Saying Yes To Everyone That Asks Me On A Date

Why hasn’t he called? What’s wrong with me? I thought we had fun. I love him. He’s a jerk. Dating is a bitch, right? But the only thing that’s worse than dating is NOT dating.

1. Every Date Doesn’t Have To Be With Your Potential Soulmate
Some people believe that there’s one perfect person out in the universe that we’re meant to be with. Other people think that we have multiple potential partners. Whatever you believe, just don’t believe that the only time you should date someone is when you see a long term future with them. As you’ll see below there are plenty of reasons go go out and practice dating. Besides, how will you ever find “the one” if you only date the one person that you think is right for you?
Hey, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince, right?

2. Dating Is A Sport And You Need To Use Your Skills Or You Get Rusty
Even in the off season athletes train. You don’t make it to the olympics by ice skating once a week or worse once a month. If you haven’t been on a date in a while sometimes it’s easy to forget that mentioning your ex is the kiss of death or to stay away from revealing every emotional issue that plagues you. It seems like common sense but if you haven’t dated in awhile not only are you rusty but you’re usually nervous too. Dating a lot takes the pressure off for your dates- especially the guys you really like. Who would you want to be on a date with, the guy who tells you that he punched a hole in the wall after he found out that his ex cheated on him, or the relaxed, charming guy who tells you he started his own business in college before he moved on to bigger and better things? It works both ways ladies. Stop giving the guys and the “dates” the power and get out there.

3. Yes, No, Maybe so…
You know what saying, “be careful what you wish for because you just might get it?” Well, going on lots of dates helps prevent any future regret it. We may think we want one type of guy….a guy that looks a certain way or has a specific job or enjoys a specific activity, but like everything in life, most of the time the concept doesn’t translate to reality. The more you date the more you will know exactly what you want and more importantly, exactly what you don’t want from a mate. Then it helps you realize what you are willing to live with and compromise on and what are definite deal breakers. No one wants to have a marriage that is shorter than Kim Kardashian’s was and getting to know other people helps you get to know yourself.

4. Free Food
Ok, I hate that I’m about to quote Patti Stanger aka The Millionaire Matchmaker, but bear with me. I used to hate Patti and The Rules and every person or piece of literature that advised to change physical attributes about themselves or told them to act differently to get a man. In my opinion, if you don’t like me it’s not worth it. I know that I can only keep up a charade for so long and if I had used their “advice” to snag the man he would be thrown for a loop when I did a total one-eighty. Anyway, I’ve changed my mind about Patti and she has a rule, if you will, that actually makes sense to me. “Coffee is cheap, drinks are an audition, lunch is an interview, but dinner means business- the business of romance.” If there’s a guy that’s willing to actually take you out on a dinner date, go! It shows that he is a gentleman and that he respects you enough to take you out and treat you like a lady. He’s not telling you to meet him at a bar and get you liquored up enough until you think it’s a good idea to go home with him. You aren’t obligated to kiss him or do anything else just because he buys you a meal. But I’m not that interested in him, isn’t it wrong to use him for a meal? I don’t see a future with this guy, is that leading him on? A friend of mine recently told me how important it is to practice letting a guy buy you a meal. These days us ladies can do it all- and we do! I know I get so used to taking care of everything that sometimes when I’m with a guy I take charge of every situation and forget that there’s someone there to help me. While it’s important to be self-sufficient it’s also important to allow someone in instead of shutting them out and taking everything on yourself. Having a guy take you out reminds you that it’s OK to have feminine energy. Especially when there’s masculine energy present. And at the very least, it will save you a trip to Whole Foods.

All of this being said do your homework and Google the shit out of all of your potential dates that you or a friend don’t know very well. And if you see something questionable listen to your gut. Just don’t be closed off or predict that there’s no future when you barely know the guy. You’ll only find love when your heart is open. Happy Dating!
XO,
Wannabe

Photo found on http://ma-demoiselle-cherie.tumblr.com/post/16879495511

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About the Author,

I'm a Twenty-Something, Pill Popping, LA Wannabe. My story is a tale of glitz, glamour, and hopefully getting it right at some point...I enjoy Chanel and cocktails and getting into a little bit of trouble with men every now and then.