Moving on sounds so easy. You’re young, you hit the town with your friends and have a good time. Unfortunately, sometimes it doesn’t get your ex out of your head, no matter how much you wish it would. Here are a few of the things I’ve learned over the years when I try to move on from my past relationships.
1. Time DOESN’T Heal All Wounds
The cliches are wrong. In theory, I understand the concept that things will hurt less and not be as big of a deal when you move on with your life. But sometimes having unresolved thoughts and feelings about an ex prevents time from doing it’s job. I’ve found it isn’t time that heals wounds, but closure. So do whatever you have to do to obtain closure for yourself. Did you have legitimate things you want to say that you never got the chance to? Of course, don’t take this as a sign to tell him all of the things you hated about him or everything he did wrong. The real closure comes from saying what’s in your heart and being honest. Having pride won’t get you anywhere and won’t help you to heal your head or your heart.
2. The Best Way To Get Over Someone Isn’t To Get Under Someone Else
Just make out with a new guy! Find a hotter guy to date. Take advantage of being “single” and being able to do whatever you want. That’s usually the advice most girlfriends give. And while the advice comes from a good place it isn’t always effective. There is no more lonely feeling then being with someone and wishing you were with someone else. If you really feel ready to get out there, do it! If not, take the opportunity to deal with your feelings instead of ignoring them and focus on yourself. Once your head is right again you will be able to meet someone new- and you will have the time to do things that are productive for your own life instead of being consumed with guys. Besides, you don’t want a guy that you will attract when you’re still mourning your old relationship. You could end up in a worse position than you were just dealing with your break up.
3. You Have To Be Ready
While you shouldn’t dwell on the past or on a relationship that clearly wasn’t working for one or both of you, if you push yourself to move on before you’ve handled your feelings it won’t do any good. Be true to yourself and know if you’re ready to move on or if you need a little more time to sort yourself out.
These are things I’ve learned from trying to move on. What have YOU learned?
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