I recently read this terrific article from Your Tango called “3 Things We All Learn About Guys in Our 20s” and I had to share it here. It links to a longer piece which can be found here if you’re interested. Dating can be an obstacle course, and pieces like this one make it easier to navigate through to the other side.
Hopefully by now we all realize that if a guy only texts you after midnight then your relationship probably isn’t headed for holy matrimony. That’s fine, as long as you know what you’re working with. But it’s easy to say that you’re okay with a hookup-only situation and then somehow you end up developing feelings and getting hurt. Be wary and be realistic.
The thing I found interesting about this piece was the parts about guys and work. The article says “Guys disappear at work” and explains that women are better at multitasking. I didn’t realize how true this was until my boyfriend and I both started full-time jobs. I can write an e-mail, make a list of tasks that need to get done, and send him a text all at the same time. If he stops what he’s doing to read that text, he gets thrown off. It’s just a different way of thinking. He likes to move from task to task until he finishes each one, whereas I can bounce around a bit more. This approach to multi-tasking can also apply to guys and class, guys and activities, etc. It’s easier for women to multi-task and split their brain energy. It’s something to consider when you’re looking at your phone wondering why he hasn’t returned your text, and it’s something I wish I’d thought about when I was dating in college. At the same time, there’s no excuse for a one-sided relationship. If you’re always the one initiating conversation and making plans…time to move on.
The longer version of the piece also emphasizes that men usually don’t change. If he doesn’t want a relationship, you can try all you want but you probably won’t make him commit. This is as true for 18-year-old men as it is for 28-year-old men. It’s also true that just because he’s older, doesn’t necessarily mean that his habits and behavior have changed. If he likes playing mind games and juggling multiple ladies, that habit will probably stick with him for a while. People can change eventually, but old habits die hard.
If you’re looking for a little advice about the opposite gender, I’d definitely suggest reading those two pieces.
Photo found on http://www.tumblr.com/reblog/19315766121/cWrEmWvM