We all know an alpha male: confident, well-dressed, knows how to work a room. You’ve probably crushed on one before. Think George Clooney or Brad Pitt if you need an example. But have you ever considered giving a beta male a shot? You know the beta male, too. John Krasinksi (aka Jim from The Office) or Topher Grace’s character in Win A Date with Tad Hamilton. He may be your best guy friend, or the sweet, shy guy in your class. He probably doesn’t have as much swagger as an alpha. He may make corny jokes. Yet let me tell you something, ladies: beta males make amazing boyfriends, crushes, etc. So whether you’re looking for a summer romance, or are trying to find someone boyfriend-worthy, you should expand your horizons and give a beta male a shot.
Let’s clear something up right now, though: beta male does not equal nerd. Betas may be quirky or have nerdy interests, but just because the guy is a beta does NOT mean he is a nerd. Nerd equals awkward/hairy chest/bad kisser. Beta equals understated/good sense of humor/sensitive. Got it? Okay, good.
My boyfriend is a beta male, and I wouldn’t want to have it any other way. He is confident yet I’m not dating him and his ego. He’s funny yet he doesn’t need to dominate a conversation. There is a give and take to our relationship that I really appreciate. Because of this, I can tell you that betas make great boyfriends. In the past, I didn’t have any interest in a beta. If there was a guy buying a round of shots, performing on stage, or doing other alpha-type things, that was the guy who caught my eye. But I’ve changed my ways, and I think you should, too.
In case you aren’t totally sold, here are some reasons to date a beta male:
1.) Give and take: Betas tend to be team players. Sure, they love to talk about their interests and hobbies, but they also want to hear about yours. This is such a huge part of building a solid foundation in your relationship. If one person is making the rules or setting the tone, then you have a problem. Your relationship needs to ebb and flow based on what’s happening in each person’s life.
2.) Genuine to the core: Betas are who they are. If they’re shy, they embrace it. If they’re quirky, they make it work. This allows you to do the same, which is pretty refreshing.
3.) Revenge of the nerds: Being with a beta makes it easier to let your inner nerd out. If your boyfriend is always perfectly dressed, it means you probably have to follow suit. Getting all dolled up is fun, but it’s hard to always be “on.” Unless you’re a Kardashian. Sometimes it feels good to rock the messy bun or to admit that you’re still holding on to your Beanie Babies collection because you think someday they’ll be worth a lot.
4.) Sit back and relax: Guys who sweet talk and play games can be alluring, but can you really trust them? The answer is probably not. Beta males tend to be low-key and usually more genuine. This makes it easier to let your guard down. This is not to say that you should, therefore, always let your guard down around betas. Like any guy, get to know him as a person first before you fall head over heels. But if he’s not sweet talking you, then it is probably safe to say that he’s not doing it with other people. Guys have a style, and it says a lot about them. Remember, in most situations you can’t change a guy. Nor should you try.
Listen, I’m not hating on all alpha males. Believe me, I love me some Brad Pitt, and I think he seems to be a great father and a great partner. But I also know that Jennifer Aniston probably has some different feelings on the matter. And, for the most part, you don’t have Brad Pitt clones running around your campus. You have 20-something college guys. If they have swagger, they’re not using it to star in big-budget films and to save refugee children. They’re using it to sleep with many, many girls. Hence my hesitation when it comes to the alphas.
I know that betas often get overlooked in college and in life. How many movies have you seen where you are just BEGGING the girl to open her eyes and see how great her best guy friend is? At the end she finally realizes it, but she could have saved herself a lot of heartache if she had heard about the greatness of the beta a little bit sooner. This is where I come in.
Talk to me. What do you think about betas, alphas, and nerds? Tweet me @lifewithlauren1 or e-mail me: firstname.lastname@example.org
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